ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

GOT THE FACEBOOK PAGE SET UP   HOPE YOU COME AND VISIT TOO


ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE


I spent a long while figuring out what to call the page...  I wanted it to focus on better health ... and a creative positive space ... not just limited to TSFL but other programs , opinions and ideas.. I want it to be a page for everyone sharing a common thread... wanting to live better...


People can post to it...
ADD:
 PHOTOS
POSTS
RECIPES ( geared towards Lower carb/ sugar/ fat and calories please)
IDEAS
TIPS
THOUGHTS
etc...


I find that things that are positive are a good resource to have..
Whether a person is losing weight, thinking about losing weight..
Thinking about changing habits in their life
Thinking about making life changes.. ( i.e. stopping smoking, changing a job, going back to school... )
WHATEVER...
Just wanted a general forum to share..


I really loved the page I had belonged to .. but it shut down today.. it concentrated on more serious issues I suppose .. where my page is a bit more general and open to all..
I do hope folks "LIKE" it and visit often... and leave comments or Posts...


I figure like Dr. John Says..


 you gotta ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE , ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE ... LATCH ON TO THE AFFIRMATIVE ... DON'T MESS WITH MR. IN BETWEEN..


 I PREFER DR. JOHN'S VERSION  RATHER THAN BING CROSBY OR JOHNNY MERCER..


so here are his infamous words of wisdom:


ACC CENT UATE THE POSITIVE


Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)

You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

SUPPORT

THIS WAS MY FB  STATUS FOR TODAY..
Kinda bummed today ...
was part of  great FB community for weight loss support... it was a group of folks  going though the same  issues I have... over 1000 members.. and the administrator decided to disband and close the group... I really enjoy it.. Still have my core support..  plus my FB family and friends.. that was just some extra help and resources and I am all about  resources and ideas...  This last month as many of you know has been really tough for me.. very little movement on the scale and I was dropping at least 10 pounds a month on average and now things have really really slowed down making this  even more challenging ... am reminded often that this is a life long process and  this part of the journey will just take a bit longer than I hoped.. its a little discouraging.. but I am not quitting.. I am looking forward to finishing this and moving on to the next two phases... if only my body will cooperate.. so.. that's how I am feeling.. set some new goals.. for next week.. and taking it a step at a time..


I  really enjoy the group because I could be so honest there... about my issues...  the administrator of the group felt it was  not going in the direction she was hoping for... she had created the group for Food addicts and attracted all types of folks with various food issues... some just over eaters... some compulsive eaters.. some obsessive eaters... some obsessive weighers.. some just on TSFL  some  waging various stress related battles...  I liked the variety of people...  I guess I could start a group but would have no idea how to get the momentum that group had... I think anyone with food issues.. or just anyone struggling with weight issues.. can learn from each other whatever the level or wherever someone is at .. I liked the group a lot because so many of the members where coaches or clients of TSFL and understood the program...  the only thing I would change is adding  recipes too... just because When you are on a program like this.. I think variety and ideas can make it easier... I also think when you have people that "totally get it"  to me that's is something... I am going to research perhaps starting a page on FB devoted to ANYONE who is struggling... or pushing or succeeding on their own journey to better health regardless of what program they are on... might do it ... I dunno....


I just want this so bad... words do not do how I feel  complete justice... neither do tears...  I have heard it said that when you hit 50 .. the likely hood of you making  changes in your lifestyle or succeeding long term  is very low...  well I am 51.. and as of today have lost 54.4 pounds.. and I know others who have lost far more than me and are older than me as well.. So I am not one who relies on statistics always... Although some statistics do have their place... 
 I have also been studying morbid obesity and those networks that promote loving your body no matter what your size..  and the fat acceptance websites... as well.. folks that do not want to change  and love themselves  no matter how large they are... On the one hand I think that's pretty cool... but on the other hand I am not so sure... from my own history... I saw the real damage that carrying  54.4 of extra fat on my body could do.. I still have 19.4 pounds to go.. AND ..  I can not help but wonder how my body might change even more.. how it will  feel.. I know I will be battling the fibro. and that is just not going to change... and I have some issues with the .. well no way to say this nicely... lets say I have some extra skin issues... I guess that's just part of getting older and losing weight.. When I am done with this I will have lost a total of 73.8 pounds...  I see the horizon.. faintly...  still seems a long way off ... .. but I know I will eventually get there...
 I am going to start Aqua Zumba once a week.. hoping I have the stamina for it.. Funny thing is... when I was over 200 pounds I did it with no problems and loved it... and now my endurance and stamina is kinda of in the crapper..  I can only swim 2 full laps of the pool.. and then I move onto other stuff...  one of the coaches suggested I try it once a week.. or do my regular work out and then do 15 minutes of the class ...  She said just try it .. and see what I can do..  she told me today that I would get to my goal .. that way I am gently adding more exercise which is something I know I need to do...  SO Tuesday I am going to start the Aqua Zumba class.. and eventually go twice a week... that should help plus my regular walking and swimming...  .. calorie wise... I can not change much... nor carb wise either... just .. just have to be patient.. 
sigh... Patience...  for all others a strong virtue of mine.. for myself.. not so much....

53/21

Found this online :

 

 

 

Here are my thoughts :

53:
1 I have destroyed 53 pounds

2 it started June 2013 with a tiny conversation on FB

3 my largest weight was 211

4 Thank God I did not have to start at 211

5 I weighed 205.8

6 It began July 8 th 2013

7 It was a giant leap of Faith

8 I am using Tools to Get There

9 TSFL/ MEDIFAST. is my arsenal of choice.

10 I have climbed 5 mountains ( figuratively)

11 I have seen 5 peaks ( figuratively )

12 I have increased my endurance ( literally )

13 My body is stronger

14 My body is better

15 Fibro pain is worse

16 I still crave things

17 It is not easy

18 It never will be easy

19 If it were easy it would not be a real accomplishment

20 I do not believe in the whole Experience

21 I am taking and using what works for me in my real world life

22 I am planning for my future

23 I finally understand carbohydrates

24 What I am doing works for me it is a tool to get to a goal

25 I have learned that eating 6 small meals a day works for me..

26 I have learned that eventually I can also eat in moderation

27 I am proud of myself

28 Though I do not want to be a health coach I hope I can inspire at least one person to find their path to better health

29 I do not believe that being morbidly obese can be healthy... I know that statement will piss a lot of folks off but the proven FACT time and time again that  research shows is  morbid obesity can lead to many life threatening illnesses in the long run..

30 I am fixing  something that can be fixed

31 I can change my story

32 exercise is not evil and can be incorporated in daily activity .

33 There is no age limit to better health

34 the only time to quit trying to better yourself is when you are in that final box..

35 when the final box comes...  I WILL SLIDE IN SIDEWAYS SCREAMING WHAT A RIDE!!!!

36 My internal organs are thankful

37 there are no guarantee
38 Variety in clothing is okay by me
39 More energy
40 Creative ideas with recipes
41 Some successes and some failures with those recipes
42 I really like Kale
43 I really like all new veggies I have tried
44 I like that I take up less mass
45 Sometimes I run my hand along my backside and wonder where most of my butt went
46  There is still plenty of butt to be gone
47  I really do have bones
48  I thought a certain bone was a tumor because I never had felt it before
49  The fibro not improving is still a mystery however I am striking it up to the fact that I am much  more active
50  That was  AMAZING  to cross the 50 threshold
51  Slow and steady now
52  Pride and confidence are two good things to have
53.. the Mountain is high  I weigh  153 now and am proud of that.. its been a very long journey..

21:
1 SO here I am ...
2  slow and steady
3 The mountain is oh so high  but I have scaled 5 other mountains  so shall I scale my final two
4 The valley and plateau are  boring and repetitive but that's okay.. 
5  I will get there
6 I still believe I can
7  Time will pass
8 I want to see the 140s and finally the 130s  
9 I want my body to settle in the 130s   132 to be exact..
10  It seems so far away
11 I have no idea why I am determined to get to 132
12  My doctor likes that idea
13 The last time I saw him he was impressed with my success... over the moon to be exact.
14 I am glad I am not a statistic anymore
15 I pray I will never be a statistic
16 here is my one strange goal no one knows about... In one year after I reach my goal weight I want to register to be eligible for this program   NATIONAL WEIGHT LOSS REGISTRY
17 I Wonder what the final mountain will feel like
18 I wonder what I will feel like
19 I plan on following a course of action to keep my weight off and stable..
20 I am learning through these plateaus that I can maintain weight...
21 the scale is only a tool and I am never the sum of my pounds..


 

THE CONVERSATION ON A ROUGH DAY

IT IS A RAW PAIN DAY ! 
she screams inside her head..   me..... tears flow... no one sees.. I am alone right now...
.. and the overwhelmingness of it all .....just the physical pain.. makes me think.....

Today is one of those days...  
 I can promise you at some point today it will rain or storm probably very hard... somewhere close by... I know... the saying I feel it in my bones.... well  I feel it in my skin... tendons,  muscles ... nerves... hair... every cell that makes me up... I feel it..
Today is just a really " I want to lay in bed and cry day and feel really sorry for myself day..."   but you will not see that...

You will see .. a smile on my face... me heading to the gym... me swimming for 30 minutes ( doing my pool exercises) .. followed by 10 minutes in the hot tub.. begging ..
Praying for a sense of relief.. just some relief so I can breath... with out tears in my eyes... with out this  wracking ache in my body.. that reminds me that fibromyalgia is punching me out...
 
The thing is... I can not let it win.. for if I do... I give up everything I have worked so hard for since July 8th...  I surrender ... surrendering means eating... finding solace in food.. surrendering means going back to old habits.. that give false relief.. 

OKAY HONI STOP CRYING YOU HAVE CONTACTS IN AND CONTACTS AND CRYING DO NOT GO HAND IN HAND... NOW YOUR EYES WILL HURT.. SO STOP IT... SUCK IT UP.. AND   GO SWIM... !!!!!

False relief.. the taste of sugar or salt on my tongue.. the combined seduction of both..  salty sweet.. sweet salty... Bread.. thick yeasty bread...   ice cream.. cool creamy..   

 SERIOUSLY?????   YOU REALLY THINK THAT THAT IS GOING TO SOLVE THIS...???  WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ... HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED ANYTHING???  YOU TALK THE TALK BUT ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO QUIT WALKING THE WALK... I KNOW .. .I KNOW... THE WEIGHT LOSS HAS SLOWED DOWN... PARTLY BECAUSE YOU ARE LIMITED ON YOUR EXERCISE AND PARTLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST THE BULK OF YOUR WEIGHT..  THE BODY DOES NOT DROP 53 POUNDS AND JUST KEEP ON PUTTING ALONG.. IT NEEDS TIME TO ADJUST... AND THEN THE REST WILL COME IF YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING... !!!!  DON'T BE A TIRED WHINEY FOOL YOU KNOW THESE THINGS... YOU BELIEVE IN THEM... YOU CAN NOT HELP OTHERS IF YOU GIVE UP AND STOP HELPING YOURSELF...

I know... I really know.. and I really do not want to surrender to old habits.. actually  .. yelling self... I really am not interested in that at all... It never actually gave me relief.. just produced a  wicked fog in my head... there was no freedom there...
I know... my body .. is better off now .. than it was back then... I know I am stronger and better .. even with the new pain...  
I never thought I would hurt worse than I did back then... I could not ever imagine that possibility.. but that possibility is now my reality.... and the question is...

WHO WINS????
the old me...
or
this me... 

The me that has stayed hidden..
 hidden behind  food and fear  .. and she .. me .. well
I am not an hidden anymore...

I really do not want food to fix this..

It has taken me 51 years to learn it will not fix  the pain... any pain...  physical or old boxed up emotional hurt.. 

Let's peek into the box:

If only you  lost weight then this would not be your reality ....
The pain of not  being in " the group" growing up
The pain of not having a boyfriend   in those angsty  teen years...
The pain of being invisible to most people
The pain of people thinking I was a weird bird..
The pain of not being pretty
Or right... or smart... 
The pain of constantly being a disappointment to my parents..
The pain of knowing I was a disappointment to my parents..  they would never say those words.. but  I knew... I was the 'difficult child"  the child with issues... the fat kid...the kid with learning issues as well... what  a great  combo that was... lol..
The pain of knowing I was never the pretty one.. ( Honi if you would just lose the weight.. life would be easier .. I heard that one countless times....)
I was however the Fat one... ( so I held one distinction)
The pain of always thinking if only I was thin if only I was pretty... if only someone understood me...
The pain of the barking boys at the high school doors before I left for boarding school..

ACK !!! LET'S  BOX THAT BACK UP...

let's look in the other box...

The  realization that I was someone..  (at boarding school)
that I was worthy of  good friends... no judgment
that I fit in more or less... that my weight really was not an issue there...
that I grew... that I forgave
that I started to come into my own...
There were set backs along the way..
the food issues were still there but the binging stopped as a young adult..
I tried to fix it..
with many programs..
 but I never succeeded completely in  coming to terms with my past... until I was able to box it up ... and just put it away.. we never lose our  pasts entirely ..

they form who we eventually become... and in a odd way I am grateful for my past...

I am blessed now... that path I walked .. way back when .. led me to where I am now... I know that..

Nearly two years ago:

When my husband was diagnosed with diabetes ..
I watched him change...
It made me feel worse about myself.. he could do it... and me...  well ... I was just sitting there watching... watching things change.. and not being a part of it...
 because I was so used to using food for everything... instead of just as it is... FOOD...

As I have said many times..  

The NEW ME...  came about because of  a tiny conversation..
and the hope that the pain would subside if I released the weight from my body... if I let all the "hiding" and 'fixing" go...

The pain ... well it decided to get worse..

and then the question became... 

 not  am I worthy..

But who  ...

WHO AM I?

Am I a quitter that gives in... ???

or am I a

FIGHTER THAT WINS..

I like the last one..
I am A FIGHTER THAT WINS... 
no matter how bad the pain is... 
 I might talk about it a little...
no matter how much it tries to strangle the life out of me....

 IT WILL NOT WIN..

It can not win..

I have come too far...
I own my body ..
and I take my freedom ... from the old..
and I embrace the new..

NOW SHUT UP HONI.. AND GO TO THE POOL...

INTERNAL IMPACT

Words are a powerful weapon...  the can be flowery and sweet ... and daggers and bullets...
Words build us and rip us apart...
I think for many of us it is hard to say ... hey ... look at what I am doing ... I am changing....
 I am working towards a healthier self... and I am really proud of myself...
I also want to share it too..
I also want to put things out there to help others...
I also know it helps solidify that I am doing this ...
A lot of us are very afraid that if we say the words.... then it all will disappear... that if we say .. WE ARE CHANGING.. then something major will happen and all will be lost... or gained as the case may be... 
I believe there comes a time where saying it out loud... is the best therapy there is..
There are no absolutes in life... so  the obvious is  we might gain all the weight back..
I would like to think not... I would like to think that all the effort and work and time invested will prevent that from happening...
 It is why this time is so crucial... more than the starting and doing... this part.. where the weight loss creeps .. along... where 21 pounds looms above my head waving back and forth... as I try to chop away at it ...


The one thing I do know is that no matter what... time will go on... so why not keep on??  time is going to pass anyways... why not make it healthier and productive... the best feeling is looking back and seeing what I have left behind .. instead of it being just another day where food .. took over...  One of those days .. from a long time ago... Where Magnum bars, and bread... and  sweets and more breads.. were a driving force... where now those things really do not have the pull they once did...


I believe the impact of what we tell ourselves... the impact of what others tell us... the impact of the words we memorize and use to describe ourselves are so very important...


Hence,  words that are positive should carry far much more meaning that words that are negative..


Faith
Positive
Strong
Fighting
Champion
Gratitude
Honest
Joyful
Tenacity
Successful
These are important words


Failure
Loser
nothing
empty
unsuccessful 
 etc...
These are negative banished words...


Our INTERNAL IMPACT  is to believe in ourselves that we can complete whatever goals we set for ourselves.

NO MORE ALL OR NOTHING ATTITUDE

So I feel a little strange about sharing .. But part of changing is laying it out there... I am really having to balance this all or nothing approach I have...my thoughts keep running to the feeling of not feeling deprived...  This was my Friday...

We greeted my husbands son In law on Friday in Mobile Al. He just arrived home that very day.. That very hour from Afghanistan ... We went to lunch at Ernie's Fish Camp.. I was a bit anxious .. In the past eating there meant eating rolls, eating fried green tomatoes and a hush puppy or 3 ... I perused the menus and ordered  dry broiled Mahi Mahi and green beans... In theory that was a perfect order..

 In my world as platters of other food went whirring by .. I was  not happy.. 

The fish was tasteless. My husband ordered  grilled fish stuffed with lump crabmeat and he gave me a few bites.. It was wonderful.. I tried to concentrate on the company around me..but my eyes kept focusing on the roll that had appeared on my plate and I had moved to the side  plate... I did not finish my lunch.. If food is not appealing to me now I will not eat it.. I watched as my husbands daughter asked for my roll ..I watched as my head nodded and my mouth said sure... And the anxiety washed over me ..that I did not get to eat that roll...  A stupid roll.. That probably tasted better in my mind than it actually did...

Right at that moment I knew that .. These thoughts and feelings would never never leave me.. I had a flash of defeat In my heart...That  raw knowledge that I  would always have to deal with this...that I would always have to be making a choice... 

My husband also made an observation.. He said that I am coming to a point I need to not be so severe with myself... It wasn't that he was saying eat  an abundance of breads.. Eat desserts.. Etc... but he wanted me to stop feeling tortured when having to pick out food .. He wanted me to pick out something I would enjoy that was a good choice and the only thing it would lack was the sense of deprivation ... So we went out to dinner that night..  In orange beach... I ordered my favorite thing sautéed crab claws... It was wonderful.. I even had the slaw..and had a bite of my husbands steak.. I had eaten very little at lunch .. Ate my MF meals through out the day and enjoyed my dinner.  I did eat extra protein..and was concerned about the scale .. I maintained my weight this week.. Normally I weigh on Monday but I was curious so I weighed today...and am slowly learning that the definition of Normal is changing for me..that I can make good decisions with out sense of deprivation .. I know there was a lot of food focusing done on Friday..yet I also know that this learning process will take time.

THERE SHE IS

There  she is... 
 the mirror never lies...
it tells the truth of perfect  imperfections... 
 it digs deeps....
it reveals what we want to skim over...
It reveals  the lines of time.. and the wave of youth.. slipping silently from her...
It reveals  all the nuances ... that only time can give a body...
It reveals  the wisdom of age... and reminds her there are things she could have done better..


There she is... 
 the deep dark eyes..
fading to a amber hazel...
the brow not as thick
the lines more finite...
Colors can shield what time reveals...
that truth that just sits waiting...


There she is...
Layers sliding back of who she once was
to who she is today...
Somewhat hard to get used to ..
Somewhat hard to comprehend...
but all in good faith  ...


There she is...
the person that change creates..
Imagination once harbored...
  I once hated...


There she is as I get to know her...
as I get to find her... 
and set her free...


THERE
    SHE
  IS.......

THE CRAVE

THE CRAVE : 

She visited today right around 445 pm.. See I eat on a schedule ... Every morning 

every afternoon.   Every evening....

Every day around 330  or 430 I have MF shake.. Or a chewy bar .. It's my routine.. Today things were off a a bit ..because we went out ..I took some MF pretzels with me.. Had those while we were out.. Came home 3 hours later and made a a MF Mac cheese pizza.. 

That was at 330.. I was okay at the time ..knowing I would not get my sweet afternoon fix.. My husband went out... I was alone and struck with her ..

THE CRAVE 

for something SWEET...

here is what you must know about me..we are in the food business in our test area downstairs I have pies, cookies, cakes.. Bread.. Pastries galore.. Samples for our buyers.. Ample samples... I have never binged with that food because I have not binged in years.. However THE CRAVE..was so demanding I thought about walking downstairs .. I thought about a pastry.. I could have done that and only I would know.. 1 maybe 2..... No amount of protein or veggies would shut her up.. I knew that .... and she clearly said  to me.. Hey ..Honi it would be our little secret... .. 

I remembered something my diabetic husband taught himself and apparently me... 

Stop.. Think.. Make a hot drink.. 

So I popped  a coffee into the Kuerig.. And added some sugar free chocolate creamer .. A little sweetener.. And stirred it up ..

 I sipped on that for a while..

.until she was gone and I could rebolt that door... 

I told my husband what happened .. And you know what he said.. He said he was proud of me...and he knew exactly how I felt... Because he goes through that too...he reminded me that once I wean off the 5 and 1 .. I will have to learn these tricks to help myself.... 

Sometimes giving in to a alternative  treat is okay... 

Sometimes refocusing a thought process  will work.. 

Oddly I still felt a bit like a failure to myself that I could not conquer that desire for something sweet..but I am also proud of my alternative I chose..

Then I remembered I am not a failure to myself I am a warrior.. Conquering old habits and creating new experiences...sometimes able to just say STOP  THINK   CHALLENGE myself .. 

Other times finding an alternative to push THE CRAVE ..

 back out of my life.... 

What do you do when THE CRAVE visits you...???

RESOURCE GUIDE TO HELP US ALONG THE WAY

Below is a great resource guide for the 5 &1 as well as planning for your future success... I love this page and use it to print various charts out and put in my binder as a quick reminder of what I am doing and why... and tips to help me quickly along the way.. not to mention recipes too...  so do yourself a favor .. especially if you are having the wobbles....  check out the link below.. to Dr. A's own resource page..  hope it helps you like it helps me!!!
http://www.drwayneandersen.com/health-coaching/hoh-self-study/

I like the glycemic index   list  that helps you choose the lower GI foods that help you be more successful in long term weight loss..
I like that things are really not off limits .. they are based on  portion size  and GI  the lower GI foods you get the larger portions of  and are dense and filling... the higher they go the less nutritional value you will find in them .. leading all the way to processed foods... which as we all know.. really are not good for you...

It is all about balance.. and if we can achieve that Balance we can reach our goals...

WISHING YOU ALL A GREAT WEEK!