Tuesday, January 31, 2012


DAY 3 : alarm went off at 530.. let the dogs out at 5 45.. apparently  some black somebody did not finish HIS business  when he came back in the house... ( he gets very jealous if he hears me calling the girls names and always comes to the door if he hears me calling them.. as i was this morning.. I did not like how close Shayna was to the street..)  he walked into the bedroom.. and I told him to lay on his bed , he refused,  which is normal.. and I did not think anything about it.. I took him by his collar .. showed him his bed.. and at that point.. he... well.. lets just say  .. SHAYNA gave me the most hysterical look and buried her head behind Cookie.. so.. at 5:55 am I was cleaning the carpet and cursing Baz.. Steve says he is senile and can not help it..he is 12 so I guess he could be forgetting where to poop.. .... This obviously was not part of my morning plan....got to the gym by 635 and  did 4.27 miles on the recumbent bike.. I got a lesson afterwards how to properly use the sit down arc trainer .. what to focus on .. where the RPMs need to be and how to place my feet and adjust the seat better.. we also went over the recumbent bike and set goals for RPMs and Heart rate.. so I felt really pleased to be able to be getting a head start on things.

my goals for now on the arc trainer is 65 RPMS  ( i am at 43 for now)
my goals for the recumbent bike are 75 RPMS ( I am on 63 right now)  and when those 2 goals become easy I up it from there.. 

 Wondering if they  ( UAB EAT RIGHT ) are going to encourage me to do Optifast.. I really do not want to go that direction.. and really want to do the Lifestyles program... it would be more cohesive with my life. IF i still were working at the eye doctors office I think I could do it much easier.. besides.I also do not want to stand out at family gatherings.. Food is big in that world too..I would rather eat a healthier meal and make good choices than sip on a shake in front of everyone.. you would have to know the family dynamics to understand that.. I also have failed so many times in front of these people.. and in front of myself most importantly...

Lets face it.. if anyone walked into my downstairs.. they would wonder how come I do not weigh over 500 pounds... we have an upright freezer a regular freezer  2 refrigerators and two smaller freezers loaded and I do mean LOADED with doughs, cakes, donuts, cookies, pies, breads, muffins, cinnamon rolls, elephant ears, whoopie pies, danishes, etc.. in our living area upstairs .. its a different world.. but I am around food 24/7  that is our world and work... so a  extreme restriction in caloric intake... and fasting.. how ever well it may work.. in the long run I feel is going to not be the path for me.. Hopefully they will listen and understand my world.. I want this to be cohesive and work.. I know I am the only one who can make it happen... I can be silent about it and not talk about   doing this... or I can share this like I have a billion times before.. I opt for sharing.. either way its up to me if I succeed or fail.. I can tell you I am a great failure.. I want to be a success with this life  issue.. there are no magic pills.. just paths to follow... and we can simplify it and say... if it does not go in the mouth it does not move south.. or north or east or west.. or we can  say its a struggle.. its a fight.. and its all about how I react to any given situation.. see.. we may not be able to control things around us.. but we can always control how we react.. and that is were things always get dicey for me.. that is what I have to work on.. SO I am back in the saddle again..


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