Wednesday, November 19, 2014

JUST HOW IT IS FOR NOW..

Still alive and fighting... As most of you know I had little to no success with the epidural block for my 
neck...during the last 5 months i have had a 20 pound weight gain.. Due to little to no ability to exercise due to pain .. The second shot set off new pain.. Its been tough and my eating has been anything but stellar   A vicious Circle .. 
But i  am here alive and working on revamping and taking care of myself.. I will not  gain the rest of it back and i am still nearly 30 pounds ahead .. Time to get busy.. I started making use of my galaxy 5 health apps... For logging   Food and walking ..i also am using my fitness pal a little ... I like my phones better... It is a little different..  

Monday, November 3, 2014

THE THINGS I WISH PEOPLE HAD TOLD ME.... PAIN AND HEALING..

 I GUESS .. every journey REALLY must be self taught... each of us as unique individuals experiences life on our own terms..  so perhaps its is foolish to want others to give you an idea of what to expect ...

PAIN...  we hear so many stories of addicts self medicating... that the root of their addiction gets lost... PAIN... how insidious of  reminder of imperfection you are.. 
There are all types of pain  Physical Pain .. emotional pain... etc..
Physical pain .. can be so destroying and bossy...   living with chronic pain as I have over the past 16 years... as been a lesson in self preservation to say the least..   I try not to complain to much.. but there are times like last night when I cry myself to sleep... because.. the other option .. eating myself into oblivion is kind of reckless and pointless.. at least with crying there is a release...  the last 24 hours have really been tough... its not that the pain is breath taking or anything.. it is just new pain... something I did not notice before but which might have been hidden under other pain..  the left shoulder blade over all seems to feel better.. but the left side of my neck and shoulder from joint to neck.. is  horrible... its like rolling muscle spasms .. literally bringing tears to my eyes... Yeah I know call the doctor see what he can do...  the same drill different day.... have my call in.. I doubt much can be done until we see what the block has done and that can take up to two weeks to really know the effect of the medication.. its a big catch 22 with me... we fix one thing and then something else hurts... sigh...

Pain can also be emotional... via trauma of a bad incident ... I visited this weekend with  good friends who had just lost their dad...

that is the hardest to me... especially the pain caused by the loss of a loved on...
 I often think to myself I wish people had told me  things... like what to expect.... or how I might or might not feel... etc...  Yet I guess in the long run.. it is an experience we each feel on our own in our own unique ways...

I wish someone had warned me about the anger outbursts...   or the sudden crying jags... over seemingly silly things..
or the quietness...  having lost both my parents... sometimes the silence they have left behind is overwhelming.. even years later... My father has been gone 13 years   November 9th 2014  my mother 7 years  July 15 2015..   A lot of time and space .. has occurred... I sometimes long to hear their voices... and sometimes I am not sure what those voices even sounded like... I will occasionally click on a video I have stored just so I can hear them speak and be reminded of what was lost..  I still see things or do things that remind me of them...  they are eternally with me ... and are never forgotten..  it is amazing how sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday I lost them...  not the days and the years  that have gone by so fast..    The harder things are the questions that were left unanswered ..... and the silence..  

If someone where to ask me.. I would say .. just feel what you feel.. if you are mad be mad.... if you are sad be sad...    accept that each day is different now....  
Create new holiday traditions...
Realize that all firsts are going to be new  and might be kind  of hard... but it does get easier....
time helps with that...

As far as the physical pain goes ... hopefully we can get this mastered a bit.. 


As for my friends who must now  find their way ... I wish them peace...   I wish them strength...  They have to learn how to help their mom too.. She is beginning a whole new chapter she has to figure out...a day at a time...

I wish them all ...  I wish us all well...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

THE VOICES IN OUR HEAD

 YOU KNOW THEM.... WE ALL HAVE THEM..  the one that tells us how imperfect we are... the one that criticizes us worse than anyone else could ever do...  the one that says we are not worthy or worthwhile...  the one voice we should ban from existence.... hangs out in the recesses of our minds.. always... Some of us are good at keeping it locked down... Some do battle with it constantly.. to the point of being overwhelmed..

 I am not talking schizophrenia  type voices.. I am talking the voices.. of the past.. the voices of the present that stay with us... telling us.. how  we behaved.. or what we did... or did not do... or should have done at the time..  

It is hard to filter out the negative voices.. even more so if someone has a penchant for pointing out our every fault and weakness... for making us feel "less than".. as opposed to "more than".. Their dialogue can often times become our dialogue.. the silent one.. that sits in our head.... and screams the obscenities that we have heard about ourselves.. the not good...  the deep and dark... 

So how do you go about getting past that... How do you  put those voices.. the very negative ones.. out of business???    well.. I am still working on that..   I do not hear them as often... and that comes with it's own set of consequences... because I am not whipping and beating myself with the proverbial whip of the weight loss task master... and  denying myself everything I have gained some of my weight back... I am working on finding the happy medium.. where I understand moderation and portion control... and understand fully that a holiday is a good thing to be enjoyed.. but a holiday is a day... not 2 days.. not 12 days .. not months or years.... just a treat.. and then its gone...

Eating healthy  is a choice...  eating not so healthy is a choice... 
 sometimes its a matter of which voice wins...  
 Sometimes its simply a matter of habit and craving...
 I love those habit and craving days... where I eat healthy .. and drink lots of water.. and know I am doing good for me....

I also am learning not to fear... a day when I might have a piece of birthday cake.. or have an indulgent meal.. it really takes a way from a celebration when those voices.. tell me how terrible I am and what a failure I am .   The truth is .. I am human.. we are all are just that... HUMAN... 
My doctor  ( obgyn) last week said.. that he is of the belief .. everything in moderation.. with a holiday here or there.... just not a holiday every day ...   I liked that.. he also believes in tracking your food with an app ... such as Myfitnesspal.  he said it just lets you know what you are doing... which is a good thing...  He also had recently attended an obesity symposium .. and they discussed how a person... drops a great amount of weight.. like me... over 50 pounds in a short amount of time and then goes off their program.. ( like me ) .. gains a bit back ( like me) .. maintains that weight ( like me) .. and does one of two things.. starts dropping again  ( I am trying) .. or starts gaining ( God forbid) ..  hence why the apps are good for people like me to track what is going in .. I like the fact that my doctor gets out there... and keeps up  to date on obesity issues even though that's not his primary field of interest.

I started really thinking about things.. and about those voices we use to rate our self worth.. I started thinking about the  internal struggles we create instead of simply living.. .and living with in moderation.. moderation means portion control.. it means .. living life .. enjoying things.. indulging every so often and not always feeling like a failure.. it means challenging ourselves to be healthy... and make better choices the majority of the time.

 A friend of mine pointed out something to me recently .. she said.. when she loses a lot of weight people are so excited for her.. and compliment her... but if she gains some back.. people just stare at her... ( I can relate to that) ... they don't say anything... I guess because they are not sure what to say.. lets face it.. this journey we are on.. is for keeps.. its a life time adventure... if we slide back a little after a lot of success I guess folks either shake their heads and say " that figures"  or " I knew they would not stick with it"  they forget the facet of being human.... which simply entails.. we have our good days and our not so good days.. the object of which is to have far more good days.. ...

 I think we also get caught in diet brain.. you know..where you say I am going on a diet ( me)  .. then you are religious to that program.. and  it is like the end of the world should you  go off of said program. ( me) .  after all you are focused and want to get those pounds off..   and then .. the usual happens.. diet brain .. decides to leave.. and you get back in your old mode of life...  I wonder if we eliminated diet brain and just adopted in moderation brain..( I think it would)  would things be better ??.. for us..  .. still working  on that one.. its hard to change 52 years of thought..  ( technically 41 years of thought as I was 10 when I went on my first "diet" )
 
I think "in moderation" brain  would help the voices.. be quiet.. because the guilt associated with the action would evaporate...  hmm something to think about I guess..

There are those with those 'voices" that have a far deeper struggle... voices that tell them when and how to do things.. voices that give that direction in specifically what order things must be done.. I am talking about the OCD mind...  those voices are far more difficult to remedy than  the voices I am talking about  in my world..  Our voices are just remnants  of bad choices.. and they can be controlled when the right choices are in place... ours are mostly habit oriented and confidence oriented... The OCD struggle is far deeper and complicated.. I know... I have seen the fall out from someone fighting that extremely unfair battle...   makes my inner voices pale in comparison.. 

So what is the take away from all I have said..???

Patience... choices...  ignoring the negative.. moderation..  a positive out look.. even when that seems impossible to do..  

We are all fighters in our own private battles..    and the only way we are failures... is if we quit standing back up and trying...

Have a great week !

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

SHANA TOVA 5775


AND  so we are here again.. another Rosh Hashanah.. another Jewish New Year.... the High Holiday of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are quickly making their annual appearance..

Rosh Hashanah the  Jewish New Year

Yom Kippur the day of Atonement ... It is between these two dates that one asks for forgiveness over the past year ...

IF I have offended or hurt you in any way .. I ask for your forgiveness..

At this time we reflect over the past year.. and think of  things we might have done differently ...  We also look forward to that new beginning as the seasons change.. Summer finally waning ... and the sweet crispness of fall.. slipping into view.. .. I love this time of year... Fall has always been my favorite season...

As I look back on this past year.. I think of those we have lost... I think of those who struggle with illness... I think of the new lives that have blessed us .. and I think how quickly seasons turn and time moves... I don't know if that's just a sign of getting older or if time really does move that fast....

I think if we fill our hours with good things.. good work... good thoughts... and do our best to remain positive regardless of whatever is thrown our way... it makes life smoother and in a sense makes life seem faster..

Being positive even when things are hard... is not an easy thing to do... when you are trying to achieve goals and they seem miles away from you... its very frustrating ... but a I can attitude sure beats a I can't attitude....   that's my motto for the new year...   A I CAN ATTITUDE ...

I WISH EVERYONE... JEWISH.. NOT JEWISH.. WHOEVER .. WHERE EVER YOU ARE...  peace... good thoughts... belief in your self that all things are possible...  Forgiveness for yourself... and Faith... that the road you travel this upcoming year.. yields to you and takes you on great adventures.....  may 5775 be a very  very good year for us all..

Monday, September 22, 2014

WORST ARTICE I EVER READ... AND AWESOME HELPFUL TOOLS..TO BUILD A BETTER YOU


WORST ARTICLE I EVER EVER READ...    NOT EVEN GOING TO SHARE IT ... BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!


I read an article today that being Gay  ... and being Obese are choices that people make...

sigh......

So lets start with the obvious ...

IF one is obese... they get to that point several ways..

it could be genetic  ( thyroid disorder ) .. it could be medical... due to medication such as  prednisone ...

it could be do the wiring in their brain that does not know when to say the body is satisfied..

it could be environmental... growing up in a home where most of the family is obese..  and healthy choices are not offered readily...

it could be a choice in that .. that really do not care how they look or about their health .. and just enjoyed eating..

it could be depression , coping or abuse issues..

So there are several factors that play in to that .....  My issues where depression and portion control...

I like many others have decided to gain control... this is a constant battle we wage with in ourselves... it has to be monitored and maintained on a daily basis by finding tools that work.. for the individual..

Being Obese is not a really a choice... unless someone just does not give a damn...

Being gay ... ( rolling eyes) ... No this is not a choice... yes there are loud and proud and flaunty gay folk out there.. maybe they choose to be flaunty... who knows...   but the core of being a homosexual.. is not a choice.... In  my mind I seriously doubt someone says... OHHH so I think I will be gay .. boy will that make my life easy peasey ... in the same way a person who struggles with weight does not wake up and say... .Man I think it would be a rock solid idea to weigh 350 pounds.. .that would be awesome to struggle with mobility .. etc.... No I don't think that's much of a choice issue for either person..

I am of the belief that ... a person who is gay.. is simply born that way .. that is how their brains are wired...

A person in MOST cases can manage weight control...  unless there is a medical reason why they are obese.. even then there are options that can be done to help them.. if they want that help ...

A person who is gay... can choose to live a straight life...  but in the end.. all they will have accomplished more than anything is lying to themselves.. and not being the gifted beautiful person that they were intended to be by being authentic to who they are... 

To me... the greatest struggle is being your authentic self... it seems in the shift of humanity we struggle to fit molds and ideals of who we are...or who we thing we  are suppose to be...   correcting a flaw is one thing... managing obesity is one thing... being gay is not a flaw to be corrected... nor does it need to be managed.. it simply is...

No one will die from being   BORN gay ..  

However one can die from being  obese... it can shorten your life span .. it can take so much away from you...  and in most cases ... when desire is strong it can be reversed and managed...

Being gay does not need to be reversed or managed...  it simply just needs to be another facet of humanity ... for that is simply all it is..

I found it shockingly laughable that the author of this article tried to compare obesity and being gay... it as absolutely absurd... 

there are no comparisons ....


NEW TOOLS
MISFIT SHINE


SPIDER MED POSTURE TRAINER

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

NEED VS. WANT or.. THE DONUT VS THE APPLE...

There is so much I want....  I want a healthier body and a stronger body....  I need that...
I have worked hard over the past year to get stronger TO LOSE OVER 40 POUNDS..  I know it had been over 50.. shit happens... no other excuse...

I have run into the proverbial brick WALL ...  MYSELF...  I have not given up.... I won't ever do that... but like all people I too  slip... I slip on that slope .. of WHY CAN'T I .... and  I WANT ....  sometimes I simply do not want to feel trapped by what I eat.. I don't want to log it.. I don't want to keep track of it.. and I don't want to have to think about it... but the reality .. is that... I have to... I WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO...  I just did not get the gene that some people get that allows them a love affair with food with no consequence.. or at least no caring ...   I did not get  the gene that would make me 6+ feet either... standing only 4 ft 11 inches tall... I have to be careful...

I have to  know when to let the donut go and let the apple win.... I have to realize that the natural is far better than the processed.. Number 1 .. I am satisfied... and full.. and comfortable... I have given my body proper fuel... and quieted the growl in my belly...  if I had eaten the donut.. I would have eaten it too fast ... too fast to taste it.. or enjoy it... the sugars would break down in my body ... the fat would get stored in my body... and all I would have left is the gummy after taste of defeat.. and disappointment in myself...  

 A donut is simply not a donut.... its   A STEP IN THE WRONG DIRECTION... it won't do anything for me... but the APPLE fills a need... it satisfies a sweet craving... its crunchy and takes time to savor ... and it fills me up.. the Donut would not have done any of that... but is it really wrong to have donut????... no... not if it is really what YOU want... but the fact is.. it can never be what I need.

NUTURE...  SATISFACTION... GOOD FUEL...   THAT IS WHAT I NEED..

  I am far from perfect.. yesterday we shared some Indian food Chicken Biryani .. one of my favorite dishes.. loaded with basmati rice ( carbs) chunks of chicken .. intoxicating spices... and delightful... I justified that by making it my main meal of the day... I still over indulged... but at least it stayed with me the better part of the day...

Every day I have to think WANT VS NEED.. THE DONUT VS THE APPLE..  I have to think this way... there is no escape... 

I admire people that get healthy , keep their weight off.. and are absolutely barbaric about their exercise and staying thin... I think that's amazing... ... I am not one of those.. I have had to learn... I have to battle my own way .. in my own time.. with my own tools...

I have had people say to me .. be careful ... you don't want to gain your weight back.....  really???  ya think????   
Or how is your eating going.... are you suppose to be eating that??...   or how is the weight loss going??/ are you staying on your program...  ??/ now I realize there is no ill intent in asking me these questions.. but sometimes .. if I have not done the right thing or made  the best choice... I feel like a child that's been caught doing something naughty when I hear  these remarks...  .. I feel trapped... and a deep need to want to not only escape the conversation but escape the situation as well..    Perhaps a lot of it is my doing by sharing this experience publically ... because I wanted the accountability and I was hoping to maybe just help one person like me .. along the way.... .. but I also don't want to feel like a scolded child... or feel like I have been caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar... I think it is why  A lot of weight loss bloggers disappear when they hit a hard point.. they get embarrassed .. and are no longer sure what to say ... 
I have always said this is my war... my fight.. and with all the love and support I receive I will keep conquering the mountains.. and enjoying the valleys... it is simply accepting that this is for life and that there is no end .. that kinda gets me shaky from time to time...

THE DONUT .. VS THE APPLE...
THE APPLE RULES...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A DOG'S LIFE AND OTHER PONDERINGS

You are most certainly blessed if you have a four legged friend to share your life with..
Dogs particularly understand. They understand the way each of us should live life..
They don't worry  about yesterday ... or what they might have done better... They don't stress about tomorrow or what bills need to be paid when..  They only focus on one thing... one universally gigantic thing....  THE NOW..   they just focus on the now... the very moment in time... not 2 seconds before or two seconds after.. but the current exact and precise moment they are in.. and that is all..
They don't worry about the doctor's up coming phone call..   They don't worry how the weather is going to be.. they simply just live... whether it is stretched out on the floor  catching a quick snooze.. or barking out the window.. at whatever might seemingly pose a threat.. they simply just are..

 In the last few months.. We have watched as a few friends are battling health crisis's . We also found out last week that our beloved Cookie girl has cancer.. we are still waiting to find out what stage or grade she is at. We are hoping for  grade 1 which is localized and will only require waiting and watching.. ( she had the tumor removed last Wednesday) ... I am in no rush to call the vet and ask if he has heard anything.. time will pass whether I do or do not.. and in this case I choose to wait until he calls us.. why rush potentially bad news.. perhaps I should assume it will be good news.. or just news minus a label...  but the reality is.. She is 10.. and after having over 5 tumors of varying sizes removed.. sooner or later. something is going to happen and one of those awful little markers.. will be a notice that things are winding down for her... 10 is a good number for a pup.. but ten is still a puppy to me... She seems fine.. does not seem in pain other than her usual stuff.. but that lies in the arms of fate right now.. so I will wait.. and enjoy my moments with Cookie... she obviously is... as she lays snoozing with her nose catching the last few rays of the sun that peaks through the slats of the window blinds.

  Sometimes I think striving to " just be"... "Be" in a moment... be right there centered in whatever action is occurring is a very obvious idea.. Something we all should strive to  accomplish.. but have a far harder time doing so, than we could imagine... what with bills, work, family , pressing decisions...  everything weighs down the opportunity to just "BE" ... in a simple moment... nothing backwards.. nothing forwards.. only now..

 I am still holding my own with my weight.. have not gotten on the scale yet this week as we had two dinner engagements that I did indulge in this past weekend... I like the program I am on.. it works for me.. while others tout whole and healthy is the only way to go.. sometimes for folks like me... the MREs  are the easiest thing... and promote less decision making and less stress.. this is week 2 .. as of last week I had lost 3.4 pounds so that was good.. I am sure the scale will eventually make its way under my feet at some point..

Otherwise it is a quiet Tuesday afternoon ...  doing some work... ( taking a break right now)... watching my Cookie and my Shayna  as they snooze peacefully ...

Found a couple old photos of the girls.....

 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

IT DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING

 When you get hooked on numbers .... and goals... and levels etc... you can loose focus of what you really want to achieve and that is better health...

 I decided to get on the scale today for no other reason than I was curious as to what I might see.. and I was rewarded with a 3.4 drop...  

 I had fibbed though not really to you but myself....   Yeah I am one of those hide my head in the sand until I choke on the very thing I am hiding under people..   its my little tick aboout myself...    So the real facts are    My starting weigh on tuesday was 168.8  today its 165.4  .. I may or may not weigh on Tuesday or I might just wait another week..I wish MY fitness Pal had a Starting weight and a current weight tab but they don't.. just a current weight tab.. 

 I like the Meal Suppliment program as I have mentioned in previous posts.. it keeps things simple and luckily My Fitness Pal has most if not all of the meals in its data base so its easy to find and log... 

 I was not the most rock solid eater today as we were on the road for business and it was sort of a take what you can find kinda day...  but I ate in moderation and logged my food... and stayed under my calorie level... Yeah yeah I know . numbers numbers..

 My fixation number was 132... my goal now is just anything under 150 and I will be happy... I believe its purely attainable..   

Letting go of numbers can be hard... but when you just focus on feeling better and geting healthier .. and letting the numbers.. not be  the focus then its good..

 Now on the flip of all that I do believe setting numbers for caloric intake is important it gives you a guide  and paramiters to stay with in... I think it helps... but that is just me... 

 Have a rock solid week! 

Friday, August 15, 2014

AmBari / Diet Direct and Nutmeg State Nutrition .

 First here are the links :

NUTMEG STATE NUTRITION



AMIBARI


DIET DIRECT


 All three of these sites have great products for meal replacement or snack replacements.

Granted there have been a few things I have not liked and are off my list but many things i do enjoy..

 I also highly recommend ..  QUEST NUTRITION  GREAT BARS AND CHIPS...  ALL HIGH PROTIEN LOW CALORIE LOW CARB AND STAYS WITH YOU...


THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE ME THAT NEED THESE PORTION CONTROLLED REPLACEMENTS.. THAT ARE BOTH TASTY AND NUTRITIOUS...  WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THESE CHOICES IS THEY TAKING THINKING OUT OF THE EQUATION .. GRAB A BAR OR CHIPS OR SHAKE  OR EVEN ONE OF THE ENTREES AND LOG IT INTO WHATEVER PROGRAM YOU ARE USING TO TRACK YOUR FOOD.. AND YOU ARE DONE... I REPLACE 3 SNACKS AND  1 OR 2 MEALS A DAY THIS WAY... instead of limiting myself to 800 calories.. I am using the more healthy choice of 1000-1200 ... I seem to feel better..
 Just started back on this  program ( similiar to the TSFL program I was on recently ) ..  on Tuesday and already feel so much more in control.. with out missing the extra bread and carbs I was indulging in ... I need portion control.. and I needed limited carbs ... that seems to help me the best on my journey to achieve my goals...

Thats where I am at for now... looking at trying out the new stuff I have ordered and finding the keepers and the ones not to keep...
 A good thing about nutmeg  is you can order samples of things.. individual packets... and I think you can with the other sites too... it helps you avoid wasting your money..

 I also like that these other sites are less expensive than what I was doing and if you spend between 50 and 75.00 depending on what site you use ... you get free shipping.. so thats a big plus.. not to mention the MRs ( meal replacements) are less expensive by several dollars... some of the stats are just a little higher but the carb to protein ratio is really good on many of the products...

I love the Mint chocolate Chiller shake by Ambari its great..   as is the fudge graham cracker bar and marshmallow cookie bar.. great filling options...
 I also like the chip choices by healthwise .. and quest.. again filling and tasty .. while carb and calorie appropriate too...

Have a great weekend!   Find your path!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

THE THINGS YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU LOSE A FRIEND, YOU REMINDED ME OF MY PATH TO TODAY...

True, he was not actually a friend of mine... yet for the past 40 or so years of my life he has been around.. If I needed a good laugh... or a bit of movie clarity ... he was as close as the switch of a channel.. or nowadays the  tap of the Ipad.


I debated for days to share this side of me... to put it out there... I was not really worried about being judged as I was well...... being judged ( lol) .. 


So I am just going to lay it out there...


I have dealt with depression since I was 15 ..  at that time. it was random .. wrapped up in the usual teenage angst.. but deeper for me at least... I was not a typical teen  nor did I have many friends... ( at least until I went away to boarding school) ..  I was the kid that was barked at when  she was let off at  the local high school.. eventually  I asked my dad  to start bringing me earlier so I  could sneak in and do my best to be invisible.. I was very good at being invisible so good during the one year I was at this high school I could easily leave the campus and no one would ever miss me.. ( nor did I really care because  2 months into the year I knew I was leaving and I would have to repeat 10th grade ( that was just so I could get into the school) for some reason several of the seniors at this local school took pity on me and would help me escape ...  that was pretty much my local school history  ( there were a few other kids in the mix that were nice but we  really were not friends)  from K-10 here.. not really many friends...  was great at being invisible... for the most part.. on those occasions where I was not so invisible I dealt with the obnoxious bullies.. never fighting back but wanting too... I remember one of those boys throwing a rock at my head ... I remember the group of girls in grammar school splattering my new white button down  shirt with ink.. while we stood in carpool to go home that day... I remember that same girl tripping me in the gym and the marks on my face and arms and legs from the rubber gym floor.. I have pretty much healed from those days... how else do you survive ?  You have to find a way to heal.. and healing does not mean forgetting...I had a couple friends .. 3 to be exact... there... and then....


I was glad when I left here and went away for 3 years... I  knew it could not get any worse... and I was RIGHT .. my grades showed  who I really was... ( I went from being a F and I student to be a A B student.. still made Cs in math.. but I struggled) ... I also made friends.. which at 16 years old was amazing... because of FB  many of those friends and I have reconnected and what a joy that has been .. When my parents made the decision to send me away I was so relieved..


 I came home and adjustment was hard..  I felt extremely alone..  no matter who I was with.. this progressed through out my 20s... I struggled as always with my weight too..  I also watched one of my sisters battle with illness..   there is a lot of detail I am not including.. but the waves of depression that haunted me in my teens came back and put me back into therapy...  to reign the story in .. because it does get dark... and during one of those very dark times.. I remember calling the local crisis center... the first time... the line was busy... the second time.. they answered and put me on eternal hold.. the third time I called... no one answered ... oddly for me .. that was a sign  to laugh.. and to fight..and not give up... when I have mentioned this story before people have said to me.. wow.. that would have pushed me over the edge.. for me .. for some reason it did not... it made me stop and reflect.. and think that there would be a morning.. and I would wake up ..  


In my late 30s a Gyn I was seeing at the time.. who I credit with changing my life...  believed that antidepressants where not the answer for me.. as none every seemed to do more than turn me into a zombie  She believed that my depression was hormonal and had been for the past nearly  20 years. She put me on a specific birth control pill that I would take non stop.. no break .. I have taken that tiny  pill since I was 38 .. and seldom have any issues now.. even with my fibro and chronic pain.. She was right...   The time is coming soon that I will have to go off this little pill but my new doctor has assured me we will find something that will help take the place of what I am currently taking.. I am not looking forward to the change over..


 I share this with you because in some small very tiny way... I understand where Robin Williams was at... I understand the darkness and not being able to find the light..  I understand wanting to just be free... forgetting those that love or admire you .. I understand how he could let go...


 My depression was  for the most part resolved through hormonal treatment..  I believe that depression is not just a mental disease but a physical one as well..  Sometimes it responds well to treatment like mine did.. Sometimes.. like a cancer can .. it eventually encompasses the body.. and the only choice that the one who suffers can make.. is to simply   be brave ( and it takes bravery not being a coward) and end that life... or  let go.


 I have seen so many people weigh in with their thoughts about suicide and depression  but until you actually know the torment ... and understand the   places it can take you... you have no idea what it is like or the vast amount of strength it takes to survive each day...


The only comfort from his suicide I can find is that he is at peace now... and he can rest... and rest well.. he certainly has earned it.


As for me.. I count my blessings every day .. and thank God for the people who love and support me as I continue on a path of being healthier and stronger.

Monday, August 11, 2014

FIRST STEPS ARE ALWAYS THE BIGGEST

SO  as I mentioned yesterday I am ordering product from nutmegstatenutrition.com  and ambarinutrition.com  ..  the meal replacements are really tasty .. the best I have tried and less costly than a lot I have seen plus with a great  variety ... I look forward to starting tomorrow and hoping all my packages will have arrived by then if not I have variety now.. to get started.

The first step is always the biggest and hardest... but once that first step is taken .. it is a good feeling .. that step starts tomorrow August 12 2014..  a combination of healthy food choices, meal replacements and exercise.. I also feel positive about the new pain doctor I am going to see on Thursday ... hoping to get some of this neck pain quieted down and able to get into a good pattern of light to moderate daily exercise again.. 

Otherwise  life goes on.. Short post today I know but I am going to try and start posting daily again..

Sunday, August 10, 2014

THERE IS NO SHAME IN DEVELOPING WHAT YOUR PATH WILL BE NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE..

SO as we all know since February I have been in a tug of war with my weight... its been really difficult... I had lost 54 pounds .. and have since gained 10 of that back... This healthier lifestyle is a struggle.. and sometimes you have to go back to the roots of what worked...  Through a sweet Friend Kim Holmes... I have discovered NutmegStatenutrition.com...  and on my own I found AmBari.com.. both offer meal suppliments under 200 calories that are great tasting...  I did great on medifast and just do not want to go that route again so I am opting for similiar with the same benifits.. I will be staying in the 1000 to 1200 calorie range.. modifying my carbs and sugars...  I seem to do WELL with controlled meal suppliments .. this way I do not have to think .. about ANYTHING  just go grab a bar or shake or chips or whatever and that mini meal is done.. each meal will be under 200 calories.. I will go back to the 6 smalls a day.. 4-5 suppliments and 1 healthy meal in the evening...  what I liked about what I am creating is that you can do this .. and still supliment a serving of fruit for a meal if you want... ( nutmegstatenutrition lays out a program for you online.. very similiar in many aspects to medifast.... I will say these suppliments are amazing quality and delicous.. I am also using quest bars and chips as well... both are in the right guidlines..  financially its about half the price.. so I liked that too and there is a lot of vairety .. more than I probably will try .. I start Tuesday .. waiting for all the packages to get in.. I look forward to keeping you up to date on my progress as I get this new ball rolling... YeaH i know I have recommited .. triple commited  etc in the last few months.. nothing stuck... its just the way it goes I guess... I think going to what works for me might be a good idea..

SO let me tell you about my friend Kim...  I really enjoying getting together with her when we can.. she sells me my Mary Kay products... oh before you groan.... MK  is not the MK of your mothers day ... the products are current and great..I have known Kim for about 16 years... We worked together  is how we met.. I have watched Kim just Blossom over the last few years and when she became her own boss she just took off... and it shows in her... and on her.. She looks wonderful..  and she looks that way because she is happy... She works hard and has created a great and exciting business.. that gets her clients  ( like myself)  excited too.. I always feel so good after our visits.. during our last visit she told me about the program she was on and the products ... and which ones she liked... She has always had to keep an eye on her weight   like me.. and  tried a lot of different things.. .. She has found success with meal suppliments as well.. so it  doubly made me feel good when we talked.. .

One thing I have learned is that it pays to talk to your friends.. when you want to change... when you want to enhance your life...our friends are our greatest advisors and  helpers..a superlative resource!

Have a great week...

Saturday, July 26, 2014

YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU DON' T GET BACK UP

It is never as simple as we thought! ,, You hoped you have found the answer  and then reality sets in.. Still the same battle..sigh.......

. ....I am alive and well... still in there... still working.. On good days  I have one or two MF meals and monitor the rest of my day by eating healthy and logging my food and getting some form of exercise in.. On other days I just try and survive.., thankfully there are now far more good days..I know I can reach my goals .... You can too.. Just stick with what works for you...


Monday, July 7, 2014

JULY 8th

On July 8 th 2013 I made the decision and commitment to change my life ... I started TAKE SHAPE FOR LIFE a Medifast fueled program ..in 8 months I lost 54.8 pounds.. Since I have been off the program and eating again I have gained 12 pounds.. I have lost 2 of the twelve I gained by walking 1-2 times a day and half assed logging my food.. I tried WW but for me it was a trigger to eat far more carbs than I needed.. WW is a great program ..but with my physical limitations ( fibromyalgia) I need a little less freedom and More routine .. So I sat down with Steve and told him how I felt .. We decided to tighten things up.. No more going out to dinner..or at least limit it to once a month .. Walking once or twice a day.. I am logging  my food and tracking my steps.. Swimming when I can...

I found it shocking how fast the weight started climbing back..while some weight gain is normal coming off such a restrictive program as I was on... I realized I mustturn things around before 12 pounds became twenty or 30 pounds.  So here we are again.. Picking up and moving one
step at a time....

MY TOOLS:

My fitness pal APP for logging ..

Webmd APP for logging and motivation. They have a great program to assist in reaching healthy habits and goals 

My FB page Accentuate the Positve for motivation.. 

My family and friends for support..

Weilos  APP for motivating and support too..

I think the hardest thing is admitting something is getting out of your control...

It takes more than strength to find it again... 
More than desire...
I know I do not want to lose what I have created and accomplished... 

This is my thing.. 

My struggle...

   So many people have far greater and challenging struggles but I think those of us in what ever personal war we are waging  ( weight loss, getting fit, ceasing smoking, career goals etc...) must just keep on trying ... 

Nothing is ever over and hope is never lost..until the very end ..

so I think I will keep on fighting no matter how tired I get ..or what hurts ... 

Every success is won by great challenge ...this is mine...

Most folks have no idea what it is like.. Most say just stop eating..shut your mouth...exercise..simplistic estimates of human nature if you ask me..They don't grasp the struggle.. They don't understand that there are factors that must lace together to create success..I think that applies to anything though ...For me ..call it a set back ..a failure of character.. A weakness... Hmm I just call it my battle ...
To those that do understand ..do grasp the deep and complicated veins of this fight .. It is energy for my soul to know you " get it" ..

My husband gets it.. He is my biggest fan and my most determined cheer leader .. He never quits ..no matter what his challenge ..he picks up..regroups..dusts off and moves ahead..he the fabric of my inspiration..reminding me of how far I have come..not how far I must go.. No matter my size he never loves me less .. But he takes pride in how I feel  and constantly encourages me to find my path no matter how many times I have to dust off and regroup ...

My hope was to be 73.8 pounds less by now.. Instead I am 43.8 pounds less  with 30 more hills to climb...


Time to get moving ! TODAY IS A NEW DAY!!! 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME ...


Sunday, June 22, 2014

FINDING THE PATH...

I hate when I get like this... 
Uncomfortable and not liking the path I am on...

soooo what do you do...??? 
Me??

 I don't give up I just find a new path.. 
While I think WW is great I feel it is just not for me,.. 

I think it gives me permission to go carb crazy ..

I was doing much better just using my fitness pal and watching calories and carbs..
.I like the way the app works.. 
I don't have to keep creating foods and it takes me a minute to figure things.. 

So .. I have wonderful support.. Great friends  who have been helping me and not to mention my sweet husband... 
I like the things Patricia Kimerling has been connecting me too and the recipes are not too complicated..
I really just want to live instead of worry constantly ... 

So here is to my yet again new ( old) path.. And living!!! 

I also removed a lot of the WW stuff from my feed on FB ... just because so many comments were choices that are not good to me.. I will still visit the pages from time to time for motivation ..but seeing recipes for dump cakes and 123 cakes constantly made me feel like I was linked to a Paula Deen page or something... That's why sooo many of the pages I keep up with are people who eat whole and healthy with treats here and there ..l am not putting WW down its just about what works for me..

I think that's what any true health adventure is.. Finding the right path... 

I talked to another good friend today who shares my struggles and she so understood how I felt..
So it's all good ... I know I keep flitting around since Medifast .. But I just have to find my way.. And I will .. 
Have a great week 

Monday, June 16, 2014

REALIZING.... LEARNED..... ALWAYS MUST...... ACCEPTING... RECOMMITING

REALIZING:    it is one of those sick stomach realizations about yourself.. but you have to take it in .. and realize that this is just part of you.. maybe not your favorite part but it is how you are wired.. so you have to plan a way to live with it... I am talking about old habits.. old  reactions... old actions that creep back into the fold of your life silently.. and you are almost unaware that they are sliding back into your daily habits.. as they sooth and smoothly wrap themselves into your veins yet again..


LEARNED:   I can stop it...  I can  combat it...  I can re focus that energy and reaction to something more beneficial ..


ALWAYS MUST:   Keep Trigger foods out.. ( talk more about that in a minute) .. Healthy choices available at all times for all circumstances. 


ACCEPTING:  THIS IS WHO I AM ..  A GRACIOUS MIX OF INSECURITES AND WEAKNESS.. COMBINED WITH THE DESIRE TO BE HEALTHY AND BETTER.. 


TRIGGER FOODS:  It is a stark realization that a harmless box of crackers can be the devil in drag .  I learned that this week.. I thought I found a friend in Townhouse Pretzel thins ( garlic parmesan )  NO they are no friend of mine and they do not even taste that good... they are processed junk.. my body wants it and wants the whole box...   its gone now... never to cross my threshold again...
It is odd that I can have a few reduced fat wheat thins.. and not think anything of it...  have no interest in them whatsoever.. they are not a trigger food.. but those Townhouse Pretzel Thins sure were a big no no... So No No more  in our house...   I can have Kind quinoa  granola clusters in the house and sprinkle some on my light yogurt.. and its no problem.. I can have other brands in the house.. and the red lights go flashing... and the sirens blare... I just cant leave it alone... Its so ugly and weird.. that I still have trigger foods....  I think the  understanding is always..that I will have to deal with this.. so developing the skills to manage it once and for all ... is what I am doing now... I realize that there are foods that can not come into the house... and its horribly ironic when you go into our downstairs and see our test kitchen.. for our business. and you know that there are freezers full of  cakes, pies,  dough... pastries.. etc.. at any time during the year...  Some how I have managed to turn that off... and know that this in not something I get involved with... therefore its not  issue... but a frigging box of crackers is.. how wacky is that... ??  
  As long as I stay portion controlled with my carbs I seem to do better...   3 servings of fruit a day..  2 servings of light bread a day ..   3 servings of veggies a day .. and protein mixed in ... and a weight watchers ice cream bar as a special treat... the thing I do not understand with myself is how come I can eat one of those ice cream bars.. and it is not a trigger.. 1 and I am fine... I started looking at sugar amounts on  various things.. and I find that when something is higher in sugar I seem to want it more.. when its lower in sugar.. i.e. the kind granola or the WW ice cream bar... I am satisfied with what I get... a portion...   all thought I think its more carb related than just sugar.. I am not huge on really fatty foods... like fries... or things of that nature.. they tend to make me ill so I prefer lower fat foods... so its not the fat content... I tie it too the sugars and carbs.. or really Sugars are Carbs .. so it is one in the same... 
So... My 1 year anniversary is coming up on July 8th... the day I decided to turn my world around.... so that is cause for celebration...  My hope is to knock off another 20 pounds for this year...
 I have also learned that I maintain with in 5 pounds .. fabulously on WW...  now I just have to pull the food in tighter and lessen the carbs and concentrate on veggies and protein a bit more...  to help me get the rest of the weight off.. I also believe working consistently on my portion sizes will help too..
 My recommitment day is JUNE 18th... It sounded like a good date... 


wishing everyone... the ability to Realize...  to Learn... to find their Always Musts... to become Accepting... and to Recommit to yourself... that you are a priority...



Thursday, June 12, 2014

THE COLORS OF COLORADO, SWEET HOME ALABAMA


SOOO took my first big road trip since the  weight loss.... 
Eating was an adventure and I will put this firmly in concrete I much prefer being at home in my own environment when it comes to food...
I totally enjoy  creating our meals...  I like knowing what is and is not in my food..  I like being in control of my portion sizes and measuring if need be.  I like the portion controlled servings I have around my kitchen...


While I am a great eyeballer.. I just prefer the comfort of my own environment...  That is not to say I did not have a great adventure mind you... So let me break it down for you..


We left at 3 am   ... heading down the road in the Miata.. ( color us crazy but that was what we wanted to do ) .. As we approached  Cullman Al.. we ran into a bit of a twist... we hit a tire recap in the road ( commonly known in these parts as a road gator) .. it broke off half the front spoiler sending that flying under the car... denting the heat shield( found that out that this week when we had the repair estimate done)  and knocking brackets loose.. as well as some plastic parts on the back of the car....  SOOO we turned that vehicle around.. drove 70 miles back home... parked her in the garage loaded up the Cx9 and headed off yet again...


For the most part the ride from Alabama to Colorado was uneventful other than a couple hiccups with the GPS..  the road conditions where decent...  the traffic was  heavy in St Louis.. in fact as we were heading towards Kansas City ... we came upon a shoot out... It honestly looked like something you would see on Law and Order or any one of those police shows...  Multiple cop cars with  cops all over the place .. guns drawn .. German sheperds with their partners tracking... Cops running back and forth... this was right off the interstate and it was very surrealistic to see..   Otherwise we hit a few rain patches...  Got to Topeka the first night and camped out at a Ramada Inn...   Headed on to Colorado the next day ...  and arrived safely .. right as we pulled into the parking lot of the Hotel.. our GPS crapped out.. totally... Thank heavens for WAZE  on our phones.. it got us back home safe the following week..  


 Once in Colorado we settled down and got busy getting ready for the IDDBA...  International Dairy Deli Bakery Association Convention...  lets just say its a room the length of  3 or so football fields  .. loaded with every type of food .. you can imagine.. Cheeses,  Pizza,  Deli Meats .. pastries... cookies... candies...  sandwiches.. etc..in the mix of the not so healthy were some good choices ..but a few times I just had to walk out ..sit in the lobby and regroup...
This gives you an idea ...

We also saw this GORGEOUSNESS :



We left Colorado a week ago and arrived home safely to rainy SWEET HOME ALABAMA.. A beautiful trip ..but glad to be back home...

A little motivation for our weekend :

Sunday, May 25, 2014

BRAIN AND HUNGER GAMES !!!!

Soo we have you ever stopped and thought for a moment... WHY am I so HUNGRY??      You know you just ate.. but you are still getting those hunger messages...  my theory is... If you know you just recently ate... and yet you still are getting that signal.. you know the one... like a Pinball machine.. the ding ding... flashing lights... sreaming EAT ME!!!! EAT ANYTHING!!!!!!  so  I was going through this this weekend...  and I discovered that if I was not hungry enough to eat a carrot or an apple.. I was not hungry.. I was BORED...  of if the Buzzers are BUZZING... try and quench the Hunger with water or  a diet beverage of your choice... did it miraculously go away ??????   it just might have been a thirst issue not an actual hunger issue...   I also had another epiphany.. I was not eating enough... PROTEIN....   where did this epiphany come from...??  tonight I ate some lean beef.. Super LEAN beef   Laura's Lean beef ... ( found it at walmart) ... and I ate 1.5 oz of Spicy honey Chicken breast.. both freshly grilled..  when I ate that protein.. it was like.. BAM  BAM BAM in my head.. these flashing signals said.. YEP that is it... THAT IS WHAT I NEED...  You finally got it right... I did not want carbs... I wanted pure protein...   guess what... I am not hungry... ... I am not kitchen surfing...  I am not perusing... I am comfortable.... I finally listened to my body...

 SO my thinking is.. and I am sure most of us know this... all the signals we get that light up in our brain regarding food... or those hunger signals... its all like a game... Like a big pinball game... a game we have to figure out the best path to win.. and really ring those bells.... Those bells that tell you .. you are satisfied... you listened ... to what your body needed..    I am going to pay attention more to my protein intake..  I don't think there was a stitch of fat on that beef.. and  while it was chewy it was so tasty..    I do not eat meat a lot.. maybe every other week...   but this sure hit the spot at least for me...   I am really glad I am starting to learn this.. I never mastered it on on MF... I just ate what I could eat on MF... now I am trying to pick up on my body and what it is telling me it needs... Most of the time our bodies are not going to say.. Feed me  a Frosty... or a Ding Dong.. or a Pizza.. that is our brain being teased by an ad or product we might have seen...  So my  theory is ... when you get those signals.. try feeding them  water first.. then try a  piece of fruit or some raw veggies..... if you are not satisfied with the crunch of a carrot or an apple... if you totally turn your nose up at that... and nothing healthy appeals to you.... Check your  level of activity.. are you bored..????.   If so....Then go do someting that does not involve the kitchen..  

Its all in the brain.. those hunger games...  stratigize like you would if you were playing a game... think out a plan.... so you are prepared...  Always remember no matter what you are in charge.... 
So you are invited over to someone's houe and you just had a great lunch.... Go visit your friend but tell them you just ate... .. ( if they get offended... welllll... they need to put their big girl or boy panties on... and get the hell over it ..)  You are the boss of you... no one forces you eat...  You do not have to accept that challenge... be prepared... 

Be ready for the Brain and Hunger Games...

Rock the WEEK coming up !!!  

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

YOU ARE A HABITUAL DIETER AND YOU KNOW IT!!!

SO ... IF YOU DO NOT LOSE 10 POUNDS EVERY WEEK..... YOU ARE A COMPLETE FAILURE ... YOU ARE A SCAB ON HUMANITIES BUTT....??????    

OHHHHHH  BACK FAT... LOOK AT MY BACK FAT... I AM A MONSTER.. ... I AM UNATTRACTIVE...  ( yet when you weigh your weight is perfect for your height your body is a just a little more mature now... and your skin might not be as tight as it once was... ) 

ERRRGHHHHHHHHH !  SIZE 2 I MUST BE A SIZE TWO.. OR BETTER YET I NEED TO BE A ZERO.. yes.. IF I AM A ZERO ALL WILL BE RIGHT WITH THE WORLD...  ( hell if i was a zero chances are I would be considered dead... a Zero.. you really want to strive for a Zero???? )   if normally you are that tiny then thats awesome.. but if you are a size 20 W AND 5FT 5  .. TAKE OFF THE  WHIRLY GLASSES AND GET REAL! .. 

WHOAHHHHHH ....  

That my friends is a bit excessive but  I am sadly sure many of you Can appreciate those comments.. People hunger for  that quick fix... that  way to get the weight off so fast...  and then they turn around ... and  non of the old issues are fixed so the weight "magically" reappears...... RIGGGGHHHT??? magically reappears... I dont know how I gained it back.. I dont know what happened??    
WELLL  I am here to shake it up a bit... the weight did not magically reappear... your eating was not the most healthiest .. your exercise went in the crapper.. and you  went back to your old habit of comfort.. like worn out sneakers.. or baggy pair of sweat pants... you went back to the old you.... it is simple... it happens... So you think fresh and  start again...  
the thing is it does not matter how many times you start just as long as you keep at it... and keep trying...

Be realistic...  Find a program that suites you and do not blame the  program if you do not lose 10 pounds a week.. ( which somehow in your  brain you think.. is suppose to happen)...  
Ask any doctor  and he will say  1-2 pounds a week .. is healthy... even a half a pound a week is healthy... if you lose a pound a week... you will loose 52 pounds in a year... and that my dear is perfect...  Stop looking for miracles... Find your path.. get off the HABITUAL DIET SHIP... only you can make any program work...  
I get so annoyed at people who say WW does not work.... the reason is... YOU DO NOT WORK~!!!! you are not following the program the way you should be...  if you really examine things.. and really look deep down.. thats the only reason any program does not work... IF you have 26 daily points ... it does not mean eat those points in FRITOS... or PIZZA .. or Cake...  it means eat well balanced small to moderate meals through out the day with a couple or 3 snacks thrown in based on your daily point allowance... You have weekly points to be used at your discretion.. THIS IS NOT A SIN.. they are there for a reason.... you have activity points too... again to be used if you want... IT IS NOT WRONG TO USE THOSE POINTS... hell even I got sucked into the void of   OHHHH I AM TERRIBLE IF I USE MY WEEKLY OR ACTIVITY POINTS..  I am such a failure.. well oddly enough by using those other points the scale is getting a little jiggy and I am losing a little weight again.. my engine is pumping again.. yay ... WW allows you to decide with in those certain number of points what works for you.. So some days I high it.. Some days I low it.. just depends... I am learning what works for me on this.. my Last program...on the Diet train.. I have decided not to become a habitual dieter.. I have decided to live free... live life.. enjoy myself... and just..

JUST BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY  DAMNIT! ... 
thats what you should do .. if you ask me... quit worrying about what you are not... and how far you have to go...
 Just get busy.. and it will all happen in good time..
Find your path... Find your way...  
DO NOT BECOME A HABITUAL DIETER... become  a HABITUAL  LIFE LIVER! 

Monday, May 12, 2014

YOU DECIDE WHETHER YOU SUCCEED OR NOT

It is so easy to forget who is the one in charge of your choices...

Day in and day out we are surrounded by choices we have to make . 

What to wear .. how to fix our hair, what make up to use,  which route to take to school or work... what job around the house to tackle first..

For those of us.. working on improving our lives by getting healthier.. losing weight and keeping it off.. this Statement is so true. 

It is so easy to forget who is the one in charge of your choices... You are... I am in charge of my choices all of them..

No one is forcing you to eat... Those are your choices... 
In our concrete visual world  temptation is always there... and we can come with any excuse to make a day  "special"...  ( special in the sense of choosing to eat something we would not ordinarily eat ) .. that being said... when it comes to WW ... the constant message  that they try to promote but it appears to always fall on deaf ears... ..

 Is that NO FOOD is off limits...

 it is all about the choices you make..
 
Now granted I am not saying every day go have a walloping slice of cake for heavens sake...  but on those occasions when the trail of life leads you to a bend in the road you were not expecting.. You have that choice... and that choice is not BAD or GOOD... I see so many people saying... I am so BAD.... I CHEATED all WEEKEND... 

  It is a sad state of affairs when WW is looked at merely as a diet.. because if you spend time reading and really learning the program.. not being a policeman about points but really learning the program.. ( which I am learning now) ... then you see it  is a foundation for a  HEALTHY balanced meal plan..

THE thing is ... it gives you that MAGIC WORD.....

 CHOICES..

 only you are in control of that... 
 
My feelings are that if you basically stay with in your daily points... and indulge in a little extra every now and then... then the program.. is easy peasy...  hence why you have the extra 49 points... you can use them daily   7 points a day .. or save for a upcoming event you might have on the weekend when you know those will come in handy...

Personally I try and not use them at all..

We also have a great tool  ... tracking...  by logging OUR food daily .. WE can be confident WE are staying with in our points...  to help US lose weight.. now I have not tried the SS program.. because I like choices.. and  PP works better for me I hope... I might try SS ... one never knows with me ... lol...

My weight loss has not been stellar on WW because I lost over 50 pounds on Medifast  July 8th 2013- Mid Feb.  ... and got off about that time due to digestive issues.. I tried for 2 months on my own.. and finally  decided WW was a good place for me to be to learn how to eat.. and be comfortable with food again.. while finishing up what I started and losing the last 20 pounds that are ohh so stubborn .. I weigh again this Thursday and my hope is to see a pound off...  ..

 I often give a simple piece of advice to the support group I belong to  and tell folks .. to try and get out of the old mindset that WW is a diet...  to me.. You go on a diet and get off of a diet... WW is about learning how to eat... and be accountable for that.   I do not think  BAD or GOOD should be in the equation ....   It is simply a choice you made in the moment.. and choices are okay... it is not a signal of your self worth ...

So .. it is Monday and in my world.. it is prep time for a Food Show... Tues and Weds.. most of you know I work in the food business.. ( ironically ) ... it is tough.. but I do my best in the last couple weeks since I started WW to track what I eat.. Good or BAD......... DAMN  look... even I did it... lets try that again....  I DO MY BEST TO TRACK MY FOOD BASED ON WHATEVER CHOICE I MADE IN THAT MOMENT....

First thing in the morning I  try and  plan my food for the day .. Sometimes I can and sometimes something comes up and I have to shift things around.. but logging your food and activity is the most awesome tool you have.. lets face it..when you do not keep track you are only harming yourself..no one else is affected but you... it might take courage to be honest.. but the person you are trying to be honest to is yourself.. It took me a while to get that courageous.. I guess I thought well if I don't log it .. it did not happen lol...

So the bottom line for all of us.. on any program ...  is simple... YOU ( WE)... (ME) ( I) DECIDE WHETHER I SUCCEED OR NOT... AND SO DO YOU !

Friday, May 9, 2014

GET BUSY COOKING

OKAY SO I AM GOING TO DO MY BEST TO GET THESE RECIPES OUT  AND ABOUT .. HOPE YOU LIKE THEM... 


APPLE SALAD... EASY EASY 

1 APPLE OF YOUR CHOICE

WALNUTS  ( ABOUT A TABLESPOON CHOP FINE)  

  2 TABLESPOONS LOWFAT GRANOLA  PREFERABLY LOCALLY OR NEAR LOCALLY MADE IF POSSIBLE   ~  CHECK CALORIES AND AND FAT /FIBER/PROTEIN ...

A TON OF CINNAMON..OKAY ONLY KIDDING BUT USE CINNAMON TO YOUR TASTE I LOVE A LOT.. SPICEY ME... I USE SIAGON CINNAMON

I USE SWERVE SWEETNER... ITS MY FAV AND MEAUSURES LIKE SUGAR WHILE BEING CALORIE FREE... I ORDER IT FROM AMAZON..

( RIGHT NOW I AM USING A WHEAT FREE GRANOLA.. NO REASON.. JUST FOUND IT... AND ITS LIGHT ON THE SUGAR) 

SO LIKE I SAID .. ITS EASYY!!!!!!

CHOP UP APPLE.. LEAVE SKIN ON

PUT IN A BOWL 

ADD GRANOLA

ADD  WALNUTS

ADD CINNAMON UNTIL YOUR HEARTS CONTENT

ADD A LITTLE BIT OF SWERVE OR SWEETNER OF YOUR CHOICE OR   GO COMANDO... 

NO SWEETNER AT ALL   ....  

MIX WELL..  TAKE SPOON AND EAT... YUMMY

ALL YOU HAVE TO COUNT IS THE WALNUTS AND  GRANOLA  2 POINTS.. YUM AND FILLING!!!


OKAY THE NEXT RECIPE IS A BIT MORE COMPLICATED BUT STILL EASY..

I FOUND THIS RECIPE ONLINE AND PLAYED WITH IT A BIT...  
A GREAT WEBSITE IS  THE SCIENCE OF EATING...  ( not sure if this site is back up as they were having server work done) ...  LALOOSH is another great website .. google it ... 

SO  here we go....... GET ONE BUNCH FRESH SPINACH OR ONE BAG OF BABY SPINACH...  RINSE AND SAUTE WITH  VIDALLIA ONION OR ANY SWEET ONION AND FRESH GARLIC... TO YOUR TASTE..

ONE LARGE HEAD OF CAULIFLOWER AND BREAK UP INTO FLORETS... PUT IN  POT WITH WATER AND  BOIL UNTIL FORK TENDER.. AND DRAIN WATER ( YOU CAN BOIL IN BROTH IF YOU WANT ..)   


WHILE YOUR CAULIFLOWER IS  COOKING..

PAN UP 3 PIECES OF TURKEY BACON UNTIL CRISPY OR TO YOUR LIKING..

PAT BACON UNTIL DRY..

CRUMBLE BACON UP AND SET ASIDE  

ONCE CAULIFLOWER IS DONE...  DRAIN... ADD COOKED SPINACH

ADD 1 CONTAINER OF FAGE  0 FAT  GREEK YOGURT.. OR PLAIN GREEK YOGURT OF YOUR CHOICE...  

ADD 1/2 CUP SHREDDED PARMASEAN CHEESE

ADD TURKEY BACON  

SEASON TO TASTE 

I LIKE TO ADD 2 AND 1/2 TEASPOONS OF  BETTER THAN BULLION FOR FLAVOR... 

I USE A HAND HELD IMMERSION BLENDER AND MIX EVERYTHING ALL UP..  I LOVE WATCHING THE SPINACH AND YOGURT AND CAULIFLOWER BLENDING...

SEASON TO TASTE... AND THIS  SIDE DISH IS YUMMY .. SOMETIMES I USE IT AS AN ENTREE TOO... 

ENTER INGREDIENTS IN PP CALCULATOR  ... I COUNT THE YOGURT, AND THE PARMESEAN CHEESE.. AND USUALLY END UP WITH  2 POINTS...  THIS RECIPE SERVES 2-6 PEOPLE DEPENDING ON SIZE OF CAULIFLOWER.. 

THIS RECIPE IS ADAPTED FROM  THE SCIENCE OF EATING.. THEY RECCOMEND  USE KALE INSTEAD OF SPINACH BUT SAY THAT YOU CAN USE SPINACH IN ITS PLACE... 

*****Be forwarned I like to over estimate points too... just for my safety sakes..

Tommorow night we are going to experiment making Honey Spiced Chicken thighs a bit different.... we are going to take a whole chicken ( Paula Deen Chickens./ Springer Mountain Farms . shockingly are the best  most delicious whole birds we have used... all natural.. not pumped and absolutely delicious)  SO tommorow night we are going to make the sauce and baste the whole bird and either grill or  roast.  This recipe came to me via way of Steve's daughter...  and it amazing.. 

I figure points out when I add the dinner to my tracker... I count 2 chicken wings ( thats what I like ) .. and then I count the honey... 

Here is recipe..  from BUDGET BYTES..adapted from Cooking Light.

Honey Spice Chicken Thighs

honey spice chicken thighsIt
4.9 from 7reviews
honey spice chicken thighs
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
Author: 
Total Cost: $5.13
Cost Per Serving: $0.64
Serves: 8
Ingredients
  • 8 (4 lbs.) chicken thighs $4.16
  • ⅓ cup honey $0.59
  • 1 Tbsp cider vinegar $0.06
  • 1 Tbsp chili powder $0.15
  • ½ Tbsp garlic powder $0.08
  • ¼ tsp smoked paprika $0.02
  • ½ tsp cumin $0.03
  • ¼ tsp cayenne pepper $0.02
  • 1 tsp salt $0.02
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. In a small bowl, combine everything except the chicken thighs (honey, cider vinegar, chili powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika, cayenne, cumin, and salt). Stir until combined.
  2. Remove the skin from the chicken thighs if desired. Place the chicken thighs either on a roasting pan or a baking sheet covered with foil. A roasting pan can be simulated by placing wire cooling racks over a baking sheet to allow juices to fall below the chicken. Brush the honey spice mixture over the surface of the chicken thighs, using about half of the total honey mixture.
  3. Place the chicken thighs in the fully preheated oven. Roast for about 20 minutes. Remove the chicken thighs from the oven and use the remaining honey spice mixture to brush on a second coat. Return the chicken to the oven and roast for another 20 minutes. Serve hot.
Notes
Do not brush any of the honey spice mixture onto the chicken after it is finished cooking because it is contaminated with raw chicken. Use all of it prior to the last 20 minutes of cooking.

and that my friends is all I have for now...

Just some of my favorite recent recipes...  

The only original recipe  included is   the Apple Salad.. that is proudly my creation..  after going having lunch at a local organic cafe.. and having their version which had honey and other sweet things in it... I changed it up a bit.. and created the Apple Salad... actually there is nothing green it.. so can it still be a salad.. lol... hmmm for now it is...