Friday, January 24, 2014


So there I am.. 
 My neck drives me crazy.. I look at that picture and just see my neck .. The old version of me never had a neck like that ( my husband pointed out to me that the old neck was 3 chins..)  I have butt cheeks for a neck.. I know it's superficial and I should just see the healthier , me.. The nice smile me..  But I don't .. I see bat wings on my neck.. I am afraid a strong wind will cause me to flap away.. I am fifty fucking one years old.. I have to accept the skin just is not gonna bounce back to a more youthful me.. So not only must I deal with wrinkles, a furrowed brow.. Now I got butt cheeks on my neck.. Or as my husband says a turkey neck .. He has it too since his weight loss.. His looks better than mine.. 
My niece caught on to my turtle neck devotion .. To try and hide it.. I also have extra skin in a few other places.. I was told that in 24 months those areas will tighten up because I am exercising more .. However the neck .. Short of surgery well it's a flapper.... I told Steve on windy days I am gonna keep a rope on my feet so he can catch me before I get caught in a up draft.. (  smile ) 
It is all superficial .. I do really get that.. It's just that this weight loss and continuing loss is revealing a body I am very unfamiliar with and surprised with.. In some good ways and ways that make me feel more self conscious..  than I did when I weighed over 200 pounds .. 
I guess this is all part of my learning process.. Overall I do like the new me.. With hints of love.. But that damn neck just well I guess sooner or later it's just going to have to make me laugh.. Here is to all our adjusting .. All our positive changes .. All our better and stronger selves.. 

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