UPCOMING CHALLENGES Rosh Hashanah ... Food Shows

SO.... 
 On Wednesday evening we are either cooking at home which is ideal or going out to dinner @ Seasons 52 ...  which a a healthy oriented place to eat... so its not a bad choice.. I have never been there just heard about it... 
Thursday is Rosh Hashanah , after temple we will go to my aunts to eat... I warned her ahead of time that I probably will not be eating but bringing a bar to eat.. I explained that my food is OU Kosher and she was fine with that... Its just a wonderful time with once a year foods... from brisket , to tsmimmes, to salads ( drenched in salad dressing)  appetizers,  Challahs    possibly fried Chicken or chicken wings... who knows... lol.. squash or potato cassaerole  Kashi.., honey, apples,  cakes, cookies, pastires.. not much there in choices and I certainly was not going to ask for anything special for me...  This is my choice ... to eat healthier.. and my choice to not participate in the food .. but be their for family and friends... I love the Challah bread, I love the desserts,   and all the rich foods... it has surrounded me my entire life... I have always looked forward to the holiday foods...  For my Christian friends. Its kinda like Christmas Brunch and Dinner combined .. all the foods you love and mostly stuff you only have that one time of year.. but here is the thing... is 4 seconds of taste worth  my life... ?? whats more important... eating the goodies... or saying.. hey I am okay with this.... maybe next year I can partake a bit .. right now.. its about being with family and friends.. and knowing my food choices  are to make me a healthier and stronger person... 

The Following week we have a food show...  today I am practicing eating a cold meal for lunch as I wont have  access to a microwave to make my fancy mac and cheese.. so I wanted to start practicing not having that option avaliable ... might sound silly but not to me... 

 I am still haunted by the well meaning but kinda of stabbing words of friends who know folks who have been on MF and lost and regained +  all their weight back..  I still get the eye rolls.. a little..  I have  to believe that I am off the struggle wagon and on the wagon of good health and getting stronger... I have to believe there is a purpose to it all and it does not lead to the tunnel of failure.. a spiraling dark place that I dread... 

I must believe that this is right and good and can be done...
Its just a matter of Faith in myself.... My husband said I really need to work on this... and thats what I am trying hard to do..   Monday.. will hopefully show another milestone weight loss..  I did my check on Thursday and I was  179.2  I am hoping that will be my reading on Monday .. who knows... with this horrible heat ... I wont be surprised if I have some water retention issues.. though I am getting all my water in plus... and keeping tabs on salt intake... 

Well... here is to the positive.. and here is to meeiing my challenges and conquering them as well...

WHAT'S FAITH HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

Faith, ???  what exactly is Faith.... ????  for most of us it is the foundation of who we are... for my Christian Friends  its their faith in  God and Jesus and I believe,  in themselves to reach that high mountain... and to accomplish the one  thing that has followed them for xxx amount of years..

For me my faith is found in myself ( which is new .. very new and very shaky)  and my religion too... I am Jewish.. and  on September 5th  the beginning of our holiest days start... The time between Rosh Hashanah ( Jewish New Year ) and Yom Kippur ( holiest day and day of atonement)  is a period we use ( or some of us use) as a time of reflection .. what did we accomplish this past year... how did we treat people... how did we behave  etc... are our lives just mere reflections of last year  littered with empty resolutions  and battling the same issues as before ...?? 

I am proud to say that for me this holiday time will be used as a period of reflection on my accomplishments and where I need to go.. and how I need to get there... that has not happened in ... possibly my adult life... with depth and seriousness at least...  I find it hard to believe that  since the beginning of July to now I have lost unofficially ( official Monday )  26.6 pounds... and so much in my is changing not just on the exterior but the interior as well.. Now I realize that really is not a lot of weight at all.. I still have around 50 pounds to lose.. so I have a very big  .. HUGE MTN  to navigate still... but each day I get a grip and climb higher...

I found that each day I pray to God  .. simply asking for guidance and strength along the way... I also rely HEAVLY on my support team.. My coach, my family and few close friends..   My husband more than anyone is my greatest life support... I can tell him anything...  ( like backing into the grill he loves which by the by the grill is fine... ) ..  He listens to me when I talk about my struggles... and considering that we are in the food business he has been very sensitive to my needs.. and my goals and hopes..  and the reason he really gets it.. is because he is Diabetic and his life had to change last year about this time... over the past year he has lost about 25 pounds... the last five just following me on the 5 and 1 .. sharing our lean and green meal together.. he still eats what he wants otherwise... I am so proud of him as he is of me... so it is so helpful..

Faith in myself well that's another story... see ... that the hard part.. its hard for me to take that leap because I wait for myself to fail.

I have these awful dreams of gorging on food... the last one was about pies.. meringue pies I can remember eating the meringue in my dreams and it tasting like nothingness... and I was shoveling it my mouth.. people were all around me ... but it was as if they were in the distance.. andI just kept eating and then I woke up.... the other dreams are similar in nature...

I know this is something that I must work on and change.. I must have faith in myself... and not rely so much on what my husband thinks or others... the fact is .. I live in me.. and I have to believe in me.. that I can attain anything... that I can achieve what was once unachievable in my mind...  that's what I will be working on over the next couple of weeks...

To build my faith in me...

REPEAT!

MAKING THE SAME DINNER AGAIN AS LAST NIGHT SO MY HUSBAND AND TRY IT!!    .... that's how much I love the idea of the stuffed portebello I leave the inside of the mushroom in for more "meatiness"  I paired it with a small cucumber salad to get all veggies and proteins in... this is very filling and tasty... I think I will make 3 tonight just so my husband has plenty ... going to prep them ahead of time I think and bake before he gets home..

Hope all is well in your world... time to get busy moping while its quiet around here...

Stuffed Portebello my Way

Here is original

Ingredients

Serves 2

1 lb portabella mushroom caps (4 caps)
2 cups shredded low fat mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup fresh tomato chopped
1/2 tsp fresh rosemary or 1/8 tsp dried rosemary
2 tsp fresh lemon juice
2 tsp fresh cilantro, chopped
1 tsp olive oil
1/8 tsp fresh ground pepper
1 clove garlic, minced

Directions
1.  Preheat oven to 350
2.  Combine tomatoes and mozzarella with 1/2 tsp olive oil, rosemary, pepper and garlic
3.  Remove mushroom stems and discard
4.  Scoop out interior of mushrooms to create bowls
5.  Combine remaining olive oil, lemon juice and soy sauce
6.  Brush mixture on both sides of mushroom caps
7.  Bake caps until soft (about 6 minutes) in a baking dish in the oven
8.  Remove from oven and spoon the tomato and cheese mixture into caps
9.  Cook for an additional 5 minutes or until cheese is melted
Enjoy!

I made one serving used a large cap
I combined reduced fat mozzarella, cheddar and Parmesan  all shredded equaled about 1/4 th cup I  added one spicy hot morning star farms sausage patty..nuked it for 30 seconds
First I baked mushroom cap I had lightly coated it with Pam and a little balsamic vinegarette 375 15 minutes or until tender..
Then I sauted a little onion,assorted pepper and tomato added the sausage ( crumbled it up)
Once sautéed I mixed it with cheese.. Stuffed cap.. Baked at 350 until warmed thru and cheese melted... It was amazing..here it is..

CH CH CH CHANGES !

GRAND TOTAL 23.4 POUNDS...

STILL HAVE A LITTLE OVER 50 POUNDS LEFT TO GO..

MY DAY YESTERDAY WAS  A FUN DAY.. STEVE'S DAUGHTER SARA TOOK ME SHOPPING WHEN SHE WAS ACTUALLY SUPPOSE TO SPEND THE AFTERNOON WITH HER DAD.. I THINK SHE HAD MORE FUN THAN ME... WE STARTED OUT AT A JEWELRY/makeup/31  PARTY HER MOM AND A FRIEND WERE HAVING ...WELL THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME.. BECAUSE I REALLY HAVE NOT BEEN A JEWELRY PERSON UNLESS STEVE IS BUYING ME SOMETHING... GOT SOME GREAT BRACELETS, EARRINGS AND A PENDANT NECKLACE  ( ACTUALLY TWO PENDANTS... ).. VERY FUN...
Then Sara and I went  over to Chicos at the Grand River Outlet Mall.. and I was so STUPIFIED...  honestly I was sure nothing would fit.. Sara and I thought I just needed the size 3 .. but we were wrong.. most of what fit me was the 2s .. ( that's like a regular size... I guess m/l it was wild... I got a pair of leggings, a shirt to wear open with a shell underneath and a  cute angular cardigan... in 20 pounds we are going  back.. there is another top there I am thinking about going to get just because... it looked  cute everything will go with me on this journey.. and bit by bit my closet with the menagerie of clothes in it getting smaller and smaller... another bag filled and ready to go to donate... I also was lectured on bras and that I need to go get  refitted and get some good foundation to hold the "girls" up.  .One of the ladies who was helping us.. had lost 65 pounds on WW and understood the changes I was going through... so she was very careful in what she picked out and made me try on an array of clothing... that I would have never picked for myself...  it was a fun day... and I look forward to more adventures like that..

FILL IN

Below is a bit of a game.. I filled in my answers now you do the same.. Replace mine with yours...
First thought that comes to your mind~
Here we go:
 20 pounds down  :

Increases  ? The libido

Decreases? Pants size

Creates? Confidence

Makes? Life easier

Gives? Energy

Continues ? My path to Optimal Health for me

Perfect For Medifast Pancakes

MORE MOTIVATION

TINY EFFORTS

MF TASTING

HAVE NOT DONE ONE IN A WHILE.. SO HERE IS MY TASTE LIST:

MF  MAC AND CHEESE... first I follow package directions and then I add a little sautéed veggies ( taking some of my green from dinner) and I add a chunked up baby bel light cheese .. and stick in the toaster oven at 375  for about 20 or so minutes .. everything gets so tasty ..

MF  CHILI NACHO CHEESE PUFFS...  I am liking these!

MF FAJITA SEASONING..  great on  meat, chicken turkey burgers and fish and veggies ohh and egg substitute

MF COOKIE DOUGH CHEWY BAR -  frozen its tasty

MF PB CHOCOLATE CHIP CHEWY BAR - frozen its tasty

MF CARMEL CRUNCH BAR-   tasty and I love using these on my lower carb days

MF CHOCOLATE MINT CRUNCH BAR -  tasty

MF LEMON MERINGUE CRUNCH BAR -  okay but not a favorite

MF FRUIT AND NUT CRUNCH BAR -  not a favorite at all

MF OATMEAL RAISIN CRUNCH BAR - I like it

MF PEANUT BUTTER CRUNCH BAR- love!

MF S'MORE CRUNCH BAR =  love!

ALL THE  MF BITES/ PUFFS   =  really like..

MF BROWNIES AND SOFT BAKE -  really like

MF CEREAL CRUNCHES  BOTH OF THEM -  I like but got a little burned out on.. still on my list though..

MF  BLUEBERRY OATMEAL -  is a new favorite

MF PUDDINGS AND SOFT SERVES - Chocolate  pudding rules the rest .. not so much the two soft serves are tasty

MF SHAKES again chocolate rules ..  and I do them frozen so I like it and it lasts long...

MF PANCAKES  are  good  .. do not over cook and if you are making the mug muffins seriously do not over nuke... a great toping I make for my pancake or muffin I take my serving of Walden Farms zero Calorie Pancake syrup and add 1 wedge of Cinnamon laughing cow cheese put it in the microwave for 45 seconds then I stir it up until smooth and poor it over muffin or pancake.. YUMMMMY

THATS IT !

MOTIVATION

“How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.”

Stephen Covey

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.

~ Denis Waitley

SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO UNDERSTAND ~

Why does dress or pant size matter? 

Why is  size 0-5 so important ? 

Why is the focus a tight ass and a flat stomach ? 

Why is success equal to obsession when it comes to being fit???

Why are goals met by fitting into your "Skinny Jeans"???

Why can't a goal be good health?

Why can't your cholesterol or blood pressure matter??

Why can't feeling good matter? 

Why must people measure themselves by unreasonable goals and then fall apart when they could not attain them? 

Where is the realistic ???

Each person decides what his or

Goal is I understand that..  But I think liveable and happy is important that's my

Goal.. I don't think I will ever worry about being a size 0-5 .... I have never been those sizes .. For me it's the

Journey along the way and the things I am learning that are important.. 

What brought these questions to mine was reading blogs geared to weight loss and motivational quotes so many were about this size or that size .. Not one talked about good health

Feeling satisfied... And happy...

I

Want to

Understand those needs ..

WHAT IS A JOURNEY?

Well ... what exactly is a journey???    a journey a real journey is a trip you take where you take in the whole experience.  You learn something from it.... You are different when the journey ends.... yet this ... this journey many of us are on.. will not end.. until the  end of our time here on earth...  

I think far too many people decide they are simply just going to go on a diet lose weight and not change anything...  Where do you think that journey will take them???   right in a circle back to where they began if not worse....   

There is not one single person I know who has really lost weight and kept it off  with out changing... with out going on a personal journey of self discovery and making changes in their lives and actions.. NEW changes... THINGS they never have done before... they took a different route... one with many twists and turns... hills and valley... peaks..  and plateaus..  and while they have reached their destination.. of better health  and smarter eating... they also have learned that the journey never ends... It is a constant.. of monitoring their weight... watching what they consume  and  bringing some type of movement into their lives... .. and that is their life... Let me clarify...   They live their life.. doing regular things.. and the "SMART HEALTH" part of their life is just their attitude.. sure they indulge here and there but they are aware of what they have done... and maybe they take an extra walk or swim ... or eat less at the next meal... they learn to compinsate for their choices... see I think the journey is a continuous cycle of change and willingness to adopt that change as part of your life...  I think that is why  where i see success in weight loss is when that person as adopted that  for themselves..  to be prepared.. to move..  and to make healthier compromises..   

Where I live ... ALABAMA has the sad honor of being one of the heaviest states in the country.. and if you saw the food choices that people make.. it is no wonder... 

Today we went to Pepper place

got some awesome peppers and herloom tomatos  and these funky tomatos too..

 The folks you see at Pepper Place are not the same folks you see at State Fares  and Flea Markets... They are not eating a Funnel cake at 5 am... they are not eating fried oreos   at 8 am...    No we see mostly healthier looking folks picking up great  local produce and  listening to the music and watching the various chefs from various dining establishments work their magic for the day...  WE see organic soaps and crafts...  clothing... and unique gifts..

mixed in with the organic and fresh fare ...   Its one of our favorite places to go.. for seasonal produce .. sort of like a street fair in a way minus the  fried food.... Now granted you can get some really interesting popcicles from Steel City Pops ( they have a vendor out there)... and some really good yet mostly healthy food from the food trucks lining the street) and yes there are choices of fresh homemade breads and pastries  ... all fresh  some even whole wheat... They do have BBQ  and Pimento cheese out there.. but in a way even though those are not great choices.. they are done a little healthier..  my point... Healthy options are abundant...  to take home..  

A common theme for me is two things... 

one is  a quote  :  the Definition of Insanity is doing the Same thing over and over and expecting to get different results.. 

and the other is  Choices... its all about the choices we make on the journey... 

What is a Journey ..??  what is your journey???  that is up for you to decide....

Dinner

THAT'S WHAT I WOULD SAY ...

I AM NOT one of those who can say.. if I had the chance I would go back and talk to the younger me and tell her what to do and not to do.. and above all get your weight off..   
See it would have been awesome had  I  done that..but like many out there I did not..
SO I fall into  a statistical situation I did not want to be in.. part of the Obesity Epedemic..

I will tell you though what I would do if I could talk to children and young adults...  I would say...

Give your body a break...  I promise you .. You do not want to be 50 years old and fighting the same life long battle...THERE ARE DISEASES THAT CAN  JUST HAPPEN TO YOU no matter your size...AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO FEED THE FLAME by  being obese and increasing your chances   of dying early because you developed an obesity related disease. 
Get your body under control NOW... do not wait... 

Move, Swim.. WALK ...RUN...and for heavens sake... Put down the electronic devices and go play outside... climb trees... play games... run in fields... play a sport you like... and the  deal is... no matter how you play .. it is okay...  because when you are playing or when you are practicing for that game... you are moving and exercising ... and teaching your body how it should feel.. 

 I would say ... hey I once was you... a fat kid..... not many friends...   certainly no dates... and made fun of...a good bit... I was lucky though I went off to boarding school and instead of it being a social nightmare... I suddenly had friends... all types of friends.. tall ones, short ones, chunky ones, thin ones.. boys , girls.. all ages... I had real friends.. and it was amazing.. several of those people some 30 odd years later I still stay in touch with ... my weight  finally did not stand in my way...  but I was still fat and sooner or later I would have to address that... and I did after graduation... Diet center... a 40 pound loss... and that came back.. then nutri system... a 50 pound loss.. that came back.. and countless odd diets in between with a loss of 15 -26 pounds... but nothing more and that all came back... I let it.. apparently I did not get  it... 

UNTIL NOW...

So here I am at 50 on medifast  TSFL   .....fighting the same battle with better tools...and a deeper understanding of who I am .. and why I am doing this... 

 I would say to you... please do not wait...  I know it is hard... and I know it is harder especially if you do not have any or many friends... but don't wait to save your life... and don't let yourself just be another statisic...be your own best friend... Be who you are meant to be... Don't wait.. it makes life easier when you are healthier and thinner.. I promise... think of it as one less thing to worry about... 

If you have no place to exercise .. walk... if its not safe to walk in your neighborhood.. then go in your room and turn the radio on and dance... or go to youtube and find a free exercise video .. and get yourself moving...

Eating:   You won't die if you bypass Mcdonalds.. Or if thats a place you can not do with out.. eat the salad and ask for grilled chicken and dressing on the side...   or if you are doing breakfast there get the egg white mc muffin.. it will stay with you  because of the protein... it won't kill you and just maybe your big mac french fry eating friends might think hey thats cool.. and maybe they will make a better choice because you did too.. 

Pizza and friends... keep the friends if they are real friends.. and if you have to do pizzza  no extra cheese.. no meats.. and lot of veggies... take one slice and  slice it in half... wow.. you now have 2 pieces of pizza.. and thats all you need... Ditch the cokes.. switch to water or diet ... skip the stuff that sounds crazy .. it is... for example.. no one.. absolutely no one needs a stuffed pizza..  THINK.. 
when you go hang out with friends to eat.. learn how to be menu smart and DO NOT ORDER WHAT YOUR FRIENDS GET just so you can be like everyone else.. BE  YOURSELF by treating your body right and feeding it with better choices.. and do your best to skip anything fried...  (hey you might teach your friends a thing or two..).  You really do not need  it.. and that Chick fil a you think you gotta have..  Look at this...CHICK FIL A SANDWICH
do you  really want that in your body... ???

What it boils down to is choices.. Your choice... choosing to live or choosing to die young... 
Kinda simple if you ask me... 

That is what I would say.. 

MOTIVATION STATION

AND THE BEAT GOES ON!

Looks like I will be around for a while longer....   seems my Echo was good and  I had an excellent exercise capacity.. on the treadmill.. I suprised two doctors LOL.... makes me feel good.... real good..

So the beat goes on...  will be post some motiviational stuff through out the evening..

WHAT A LOST TIRE ALLOWS, NEEDLES, TREADMILLS, ECHOS AND RANDOM THOUGHTS

So today was the day ... I found myself telling all the techs and nurses and doctors who were getting my health history about my success with TSFL/MF..  and how I am on a good path now... and how 20 pounds as really helped things.. except my pants are totally not fitting right... ( we will get to that later) I did not put that in my health history :-) that my pants don't fit right LOL..
SOO  the echo was first .. and since I am in full fibro flare .. this was not fun.. a innocuous test like a  echo.. where you lie on a table and a wand is rubbed on you that has gel on it.. .HURTS....  YOUUUU  have no idea.... it was rough.. I had to lay half on my side.. my chest and rib cage are really flaming today  and guess where that  little   wand went... right for the ribs under the boobs.. and she had to press deep ... I was sweating by the time she was done... it was that painful.. No tears at least..  because of the pain I started feeling draggy... and remember I had not had any food or water at that point either so I was not  happy..
Next came the Nuclear Stress Test .. the tech  and doctor wanted me to go the chemical route rather than  do the treadmill.. because of my flair in my ankle..  I was braced up... the doctor was comfortable with that.. and he said lets give it a try .. if you can not do the treadmill we will do the chemical.. and I was happy with that compromise.. I DID NOT  want TO DO THE CHEMICAL STRESS TEST..    
So the needle lady came in... got my IV in she had to find a vein since mine were apparently playing hide and go seek....  once that was accomplished and the line was flushed with saline..  They put the leads on and wired me up.. and up on the treadmill I went..  IT WAS NOT EASY but I knocked out 7 minutes of incline and fast walking.. The tech and nurse were pleased I did so well.. he said most folks do not get how to walk on a treadmill and I did great .. as it was nearing the end and I was on a steep grade  ..  they injected the stuff in me that lights up your heart..  a little bit more time went by the  treadmill went up.. I was getting worn out a bit... and I said have I at least reached 4 minutes yet..they laughed and said I only had 20 more seconds left... oh and I hated that darn blood pressure cuff on my arm the whole time.. every 3 minutes it would take my bp .. and it hurt like all get out...  WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF FIBRO...  so.. got done with that ate a MF meal.. and drank water finally and went to wait on my photos 20 minutes laying on a skinny metal thing with a cushion at least.. was not very comfortable.. go the first round of photos done.. and had to wait in a room with some other folks and chatted a bit.. the tech came in said I could go.. the photos were good... and they took the iv lead out.. and away I went... no sooner do I get to the lobby and I start itching  they left 4 lead patches on me in case they had to do more monitoring and forgot to take them off... once the patches were off the itching stopped... So glad that is over..
I keep thinking to myself I want to do my momma proud.. you see.. on July 15th 2008 my mom died on the operating table  at the same hospital I was at .. today.. it was unforeseen .. she had had her first AVR  ( aortic valve replacement)   about 18 years prior and it was leaking so she had to have another replacement... All the family was there.. and we were so sure she would be fine.. my mom meanwhile was saying goodbye to everyone she knew.. and people just poo pooed her and told her she would be fine... my mom said she was done.. said no one really needed her anymore..  ( I knew she missed my dad who had been killed in a car wreck about 7 years prior) now that I was married (I had gotten married 8 months prior to her death) .. of course we all assured her that was not true...
We were in the holding room with her and right before she went into the operating room she had asked for something to help her relax she asked all of us to please take care of our hearts... we had been singing songs.. and talking with her...  ... finally she as wheeled into surgery.. with in 30 minutes they brought us to the family room... YES THAT FAMILY ROOM... they did their usual shpiel that  things were not looking good... came out again... its really bad.. and the third time she was gone.. we were shocked  the night before the surgeon had said she had a better than 85 % of recovery...  my cousin fainted .. it was a crazy place... they asked us if we wanted to see her.. I said no.. because I remember what mom had told me when she saw her own mother dead... it was not a good experience for her.. and I did not want that to be my last memory of her..
Consequently my last memory is of her telling us to take care of our hearts... when I gave one of her eulogies I told  everyone what she had said.. and I closed after that comment with my own statement of"  and while take care of your physical heart.. be sure and take care of the heart that surrounds you.. the heart of love.. the people around you who love you.. nurture that one too..
   It was a rough time... indeed...  I exited that family room as fast as I could.. I needed to get outside in the courtyard and that's where I went... everyone eventually joined me.. and the phone calls started.. the same ones I had to make with my then boyfriend now husband.. when my dad was killed.. and my mother was in the hospital too ( she had been in the wreck and suffered injuries)  not knowing dad was dead yet.. we were trying to wait for more family to get there.. before we told her about dad... I was the one who had to tell my mom about my dad.. as I told many people that day.. the odd thing for me .. right when I lost my dad.. I had  lost 30 pounds... had a new outfit on we were all suppose to meet for dinner that night  I was suppose to sing in a concert the next night and my folks and everyone was suppose to be there... .. instead we were at a hospital 40 miles from home.. and I was making  THOSE phone calls... needless to say .. I gained all that weight back and more... and that outfit.. I  took it off and threw it in the garbage when I got home...
Making THOSE phone calls for my mom was just reliving what I had done 7 years prior only the immediate family was present..   My mother died because when they went to open her up.. scar tissue had adhered to her breast bone..  and literally disintegrated and caused the aorta to disintegrate too.. not even 5 minutes into the procedure... there was no way to know about the scar tissue 5 years ago..  I have heard now they can  see that ... reality with my mom was.. that had she not left this planet that way .. she could have had a massive heart attack while was driving or been home alone... at least she went out with a great send off... and love around her... who could ask for more .. right??? 
My point in sharing all that is that in all those years between my dads death... my moms death  I have made half assed attempts at losing weight and keeping it off...  and I am not sure exactly what makes this time any different..
Maybe I am scared of my own mortality .. maybe I finally am taking care of my heart.. and God willing have not done damage to it already because of being morbidly obese or obese..
In the waiting room prior to my tests today I looked around at all the Obese people  and yes there were MANY in the cardiographics area...   all waiting for various tests... I saw tremendous ankles.. and I thought to myself how much their bones must ache.. I saw people who barely fit in their chairs.. and who simply looked uncomfortable sitting there.. I looked around at the older folks.. and the younger folks of various sizes.. I saw kids unwrapping danishs as big as their faces and eating them.. ( they were waiting on grandparents back in testing of course...   I saw a gentleman take off his prosthetic leg in the waiting room ... that kinda creeped me out  a little  at first but I thought to myself well.. at least he is comfortable..
 I saw people struggling to walk with canes and walkers to help them..  Most of them were not OLD .. they were middle age and morbidly obese..   and it was at that point I thought here is my difference.. is this what I want my destiny to be..???. granted we can do whatever we can to prevent  heart  issues.. like lose weight and get healthy.. sometimes things just happen which are out of our control I know all that.. but if I continued on my old path.. well.. sooner or later I would be the one walking with the walker.. I would be a  morbidly obese statistic.. and  I do not want that .. So maybe this time .. nooooo.. THIS TIME IS A KEEPER..
Here is something else I noticed in the area where they did your stress test and pictures.. after your test they offer you snacks... and I heard nothing nutritious like a banana or apple.. or celery and pb.. even a graham cracker and pb would have been a better choice.. no.. it was all cookies.. and water and I think regular sodas.. not sure if they offered diet sodas or not..   I was a little surprised myself..  oh well... I was prepared with my own water and own bars and pretzels .. so I was in good shape..

Today was a very observant day..

SO I bet this whole time you wanted to know about the darn pants...  well my pants now fit weird.. many I have bagged up to donate.. but the ones I am able to wear.. ( now in the bag to donate)  seem to fit in the hips and butt  but look like clown pants in the legs and waist..  so I started wearing the elastic ( mom jeans) waist jeans again.. because the legs are more straight.. .  in a little bit I am going to try and find.. jeans  in a short ( they are so hard to find  I hate getting average length jeans .. ) with a straighter leg.. hoping that resolves the clown pants effect.....

Have a great day!

20 POUNDS

Yep... and yes its another celebration day!  I am feeling good...

and no complaints...
just for the fun of it..

 A car tire is a good  example of the amount of weight I have lost..... its a good reminder of what I have been carrying.. wonder what 30 pounds will bring..  well I am fairly preoccupied with thoughts of tomorrow and the echo and stress test just want to get past it.. already..
Otherwise just going to keep it short and sweet tonight with a little inspiration:

MF LASAGNA recipe from MF library

Ingredients:

• 16  oz  Ground Beef 95% Lean  
• 4  oz  Cheese, Swiss, Low-Fat  
• 1/2  cup  Cottage Cheese, 1%  
• 1  cup  Egg Substitute, Egg Beaters  
• 1/2  cup  Cooked Mushrooms, fresh  
• 1  cup  Cooked Peppers, Green, fresh  
• 1  cup  Raw Lettuce, Romaine  
• 15  fl oz  Cooked Tomatoes, diced  
• 2  tbsp  Paremesan Cheese  
• 1/4  tsp  Ground Black Pepper  
• 10  sprays  Non-stick Cooking Spray  
• 1/4  tsp  Italian Seasonings  

Preparation:

Ingredient Notes
1. May use 1 lb 96/4 extra lean ground beef or Morning star sausage crumbles
2. For diced tomatoes use 1, 15 oz can diced petite tomatoes with basil & oregano
3. White mushrooms work best and you may use any colored bell pepper
4. Instead of low-fat swiss cheese, use 1 cup (4 oz) lowfat shredded Italian cheese

Directions
1. Begin by cooking ground beef in a non-stick pan. When done, drain fat.
2. Chop peppers and mushrooms and brown in same pan as beef. You may want to lightly spray the pan with non-stick cooking spray (10 sprays = 1 condiment choice).
3. Puree can of tomatoes in a blender or food processor.
4. Add ground beef back to the pan with the cooked vegetables and tomatoes. Season with pepper and italian seasoning. Heat through.
5. In a clean non-stick pan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, pour 1/4 cup egg substitute into the pan and swirl. The goal is to use the egg substitute to make a crepe for the noodle like consistency in the lasagna. The crepe should be cooked all the way through.
6. When done, gently loosen it all the way around with a spatuala. Then carefully flip it to the other side.
7. Cook just a few seconds on that side.
8. Repeat steps 5-7 to make a total of 4 crepes.
9. In a 9x9 pan, begin layering your lasagna. Layer the beef/veggie mixture evenly on the bottom, sprinkle with 1/3 of the cottage cheese, 1/4 of the shredded cheese and sprinkle with Parmesan. Then top with a crepe.
10. Repeat to make 3 additional layers and then top with any remaining meat or cheese mixture. Bake for approximately 30 minutes or until cheese is golden brown.

The recipes provides approximately 1 Leaner, 1-3/4 Green, and 1 Condiment per serving.

THINGS ON THE HORIZON

SO Tomorrow I have a baby shower to go to.. It will be the first "event" I have had to go to since I started... the good news is... One of the Hostesses is on MF too.. .. I am going to bring a bar.. bring my water and bring my camera.. I figure busy will be my word for the party... .. so I do not anticipate any issues food wise... Clothes wise is another story.... my nicer clothes are all too big... so I am just going to wear black jeans and a nice top... best I can do...  ... 

Food Show in September is  making me a little nervous.. actually I have two ... The first show I should be okay .. packing a cooler with water and meal options... the second show  I am really hoping I can go with my husband... ( my support system)   but if I can't I will just suck it up... thats not until the end of September so I am moving that off the worry list for now.. the First show is early September so its kinda of on the worry list but the reality is as long as I am prepared I should be fine... I will post photos so you can see what my enviroment is like for 2 days... then you might have an idea of the challenges I sometimes face.. 

In the old ways.. it was no big deal for me to sample pizza 3 or 8 times at a show... not to mention muffins, cookies,   fried catfish.. and an assortment of things my body did not really need for fuel... 

In the new ways its whats in the cooler and thats it ..

Tuesday is test day so .. say  a prayer for me please.... echo and stress test... I hope things are okay.. my doctor is not anticpating any issues at all... so hopefully things will be fine.. 

Other wise its been a nice weekend.. looking forward to the baby shower tomorrow... and then spending the rest of Sunday with my sweet Husband <3

TSFL ONE MONTH OP CELEBRATING!!!!

 TODAY I AM CELEBRATING ONE MONTH OP 

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪░H░A░P░P░Y ONE MONTH OP ░to ME HAPPY ONE MONTH OP TO ME ,♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¯''•.¸*♥♥♥* ¸.•''(¯''•.¸*♥♥♥ ¸.•''¯░H░A░P░P░Y♫♪░ONE MONTH OP~dear    ME    happy ONE MONTH OP  to ME ,♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥AND ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN OP ONE MONTH!!!!!♥♥♫♫♫♫♥♥♥♫♫♫♫♥♥♥


I did peek at the scale this morning with happy results... but won't say anything until official weigh day Monday ..

Here is what I believe after one Month:

Anything you want is possible

Find what works for you and make a commitment to stick with it

Find what fits into your lifestyle

Other's Opinions  be damned.

We must take pride and have faith in ourselves!

Its all about choice

4 seconds ~ in those 4 seconds do you choose to eat that or is your health more important ? 

MY TSFL BOOK

This is where I put recipes, articles notes and motivational stuff ..

LUNCH

3 OZ PIECE BONELESS  SKINLESS CHICKEN GRILLED ( mine was left over from a couple days ago) CHOP IT UP

ONE MEDIFAST MAC AND CHEESE

1/2 cup WATER

teaspoon finely shredded 2%  CHEESE OF YOUR CHOICE FINALLY SHREDDED MINE WAS FEISTA BLEND

2 PPIECES OF JULIENNED CHOPPED SUNDRIED TOMATOES

 

MAKE MAC AND CHEESE PER PACKAGE DIRECTIONS

ADD CHOPPED CHICKEN AND CHOPPED TOMATOS MIX WILL POUR IN SMALL 7 OZ OR SO BAKING DISH   SPRINKLE CHEESE ON 

 

BAKE 375 UNTIL WARMED THROUGH AND CHEESE MELTY..

YUMMY

SORRY PHOTO IS SIDEWAYS FOR SOME REASON..

 

 

FEEDING ME FANCY FUDGE *** just a dream****

Could someone please tell me... about my weird dream last night.... I dreamt that people.. ( some I did not even know) were feeding me fudge .... I don't really even like fudge.. why weren't they feeding me ice cream.. I like ice cream...  why weren't they feeding me pizza LOL??????  

 I thought it was so funny when I woke up.. I told my husband and he said its just my subconscious at work.... so I said.. I don't  think I am really thinking deep down about people feeding me fudge... lol....   and it was fancy fudge with roses on it... and white  chocolate fudge icing.. what the heck??????    I really got a good laugh from that.... and  no I was not salivating in my sleep or woke up drooling lol.. but I sure am curious as to where that dream came from...

Rock it on WEDNESDAY!!  have a great day! 



OHHH AND BEFORE I FORGET ....  I  JUST PUT BACK 4 PAIR OF REGULAR ZIP UP JEANS SIZE 18 WP IN THE GENERAL POPULATION OF MY CLOTHES HAVE NOT WORN REGULAR JEANS  ( GRANTED THEY ARE PLUS SIZE I KNOW) ... IN 4 MAYBE 5 YEARS.. TIME TO START DUMPING THE ELASTIC WAIST JEANS... WHOO HOO... 

STILL HAVE A FEW 16 WP  AND 1 16 REGULAR AND 1 12 REGULAR IN PERGITORY RIGHT NOW... WAITING TO BE RELEASED.. HAVE  A FEW TOPS TO GET ME THROUGH * will purchase new items as needed... eventually going to revamp my wardrobe once goal weight is achieved...

COMMITMENT TO MYSELF

 So ... in 2 days it will be 1 month since I made a COMMITMENT TO MYSELF..

I KNOW .. that if I kept on doing what I had always done... that I would be done.. that sooner or later I would be killing myself as a morbidly obese woman... 

IT IS  not an easy commitment.... and in some ways  being OP is  crazy sounding.. who does not eat fruits and  ALL vegggies  when they are trying to be healthy...

BUT TO  me .. the person ( myself) that chooses this route to better health and stronger body is using MF/TSFL as a tool to reach a destination.. and during this journey certain higher carb choices are eliminated and then reintroduced ... by that time I believe I will have mastered portion control... and monitoring myself ... and understanding that while food is FUEL  it can be enjoyed but DOES NOT have to be the focus...

WE ARE  in the food business.. the kind of food that is not so healthy .. Occasionally my hands are  in bread dough and cookie dough..  helping get samples ready for demos and such.. or food show... 

MAKING THIS commitment for me.. was really a task.. and a great choice..   yes.. A choice I made   .. to make a commitment to myself..

Do I think the above is a bunch of fluff and that in a few short months I am going to tune out and turn back to my old ways...  it is something I think about... but when I look at those rolls baking or see and smell the cookies ... I think to myself... 4 seconds....  ( a post I did a while back)   is it really worth those 4 seconds  in my mouth.... to eat a cookie or a roll... is it going to make me feel strong.. proud... no... so... here I am...  having made a commitment to myself.. and praying that I follow this path... and learn this time... and not have to start over ever again...

On a odder note I looked at the BMI chart.. and I am now simply OBESE.. not something to be proud of.. but apparently I graduated recently...

TUESDAY BAM!!

WOW...  so it was suppose to be a simple thing... complicated to reach but simple never the less..
BAM   BAM   BAM!!!!!!  

New ROOF... yes  NEW ROOF on a 9 year old house  ... welcome to Alabama where storms are fierce ... apparently the hail damage on our roof is impressive...  thank heavens for insurance... so no issue there..

Still just really blown away though... much like my roof lol... sigh...   so between the impending storms.. the new roof will commence.. so will the  sheet rock repair and repainting off the Great Room...  things will be nice and sparkly for Thanksgiving...  not looking forward to the mess...  Happy with the contractors though.. upstanding group I think.. not a bunch of schlepers... sigh...
Had a portion of the roof replaced last year ... front part ... and guess what???? nothing but rotted wood now... so that's frustrating..    How on earth would we have known ... I guess I owe a debt of Thanks to the gentleman who came out  yesterday and noticed part of the problem... he did not think it was going to be a big deal at all...  BAM sure enough here we are today waiting for the adjuster to call me back.. and get  the repairs under way .... sigh.....

Otherwise... it is a Tuesday... hope yours is rocking along....

MONDAY TUCKED AWAY...

 Got up .. did the scale dance.. and another 2.4 pounds gone.. grand total 16.2 pounds gone.. that's a very good Month...

SO .. August 8th will be one Month of Medifast/TSFL... I will save my review of that month until the 8th...

Right now I feel accomplished and proud... and I look forward to more progression..
 I have multiple challenges facing me.. but in reality who does not..
So.. we plan... have a good idea of how to battle those challenges.. and we move on...
Hope everyone has a good week... Night Night Monday...

POWER

THOUGHTS

Motivational Quotes...

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

Sven Goran Eriksson

 Never, never, never, never give up. -- Winston Churchill

The first and the best victory is to conquer self. -- Plato

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something. -- Carl Sandburg

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. -- Jim Rohn

“Twenty years from now, you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, than the ones you did.”

Mark Twain

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

Ambrose Redmoon

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

Unknown

SIMPLY SAY NOTHING...

          THINGS YOU DO NOT SAY TO ME

WHAT?  ONLY 1/4TH OF A POUND.... ?? IS THAT GOOD ?/ I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOSE MORE THAN THAT ... 

ARE YOU STICKING WITH THE PROGRAM?

HOWS YOUR DIET? ARE YOU STICKING WITH THE PROGRAM?

ARE YOU STILL ON MEDIFAST ??

YOU KNOW I KNOW SOMEONE WHO DID THAT PROGRAM AND GAINED HER 20 POUNDS BACK THAT SHE LOST???

YOU KNOW YOU WILL JUST GAIN IT ALL BACK 

ARE YOU STICKING TO THE PROGRAM?? 

CAN YOU EAT THAT??

ARE YOU STICKING TO THE PROGRAM??

HOWS YOUR DIET GOING??? 

ARE YOU STICKING TO THE PROGRAM??

 ( WHETHER YOU MEAN TO HURT MY FEELINGS OR NOT  THIS IS HOW I FEEL)  

COULD YOU POSSBILY  THINK FOR A SECOND.. THAT  MY ATTITUDE MIGHT BE THIS ????:::::   ~NO I AM FUCKING NOT STICKING TO THE PROGRAM BECAUSE I JUST LOVE SPENDING 400.00 A MONTH TO SEE HOW MUCH FUCKING WEIGHT I CAN NOT LOSE ...~

 I HOPE THE ANSWER IS NO......  

REALLLLLY ...

 IF YOU ARE GOING TO SUPPORT ME ... REGARDLESS OF PAST FAILURES.. OR PAST HALF EFFORTS.. OR PAST ANYTHING....

THEN

SAY THESE THINGS TO ME:

WAY TO GO!

GOOD JOB!

IT MIGHT TAKE TIME BUT YOU WILL GET THERE!!

I AM PROUD OF YOU!

KEEP IT GOING!

GOOD LUCK!

I AM HAPPY FOR YOU !

I BET YOU ARE FEELING BETTER EACH DAY! 

YOU LOOK GREAT!

I CAN SEE A DIFFERENCE!

I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF

GREAT JOB

AWESOME..

OR SIMPLY SAY 

NOTHING...

THOUGH YOUR PRAISE IS NICE...I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE IT...

I HAVE BUILT A GOOD SUPPORT NETWORK..  

IF YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF IT.. GREAT .. IF NOT..  

SIMPLY SAY

 NOTHING...